I was a drunken degenerate during the time of the black plague. When attempting to break into a wizard's tower to steal what I THOUGHT was a bottle of brandy, I unknowingly drank a polymorph potion, turning me into a scarecrow. As punishment he had me guard his crops for many years. Over time (and through the sheer force of anger) I learned to move and talk in this new form. The murder I gathered then told me of this new thing called the internet that I have been using to find a way to reverse my curse. Now if only I wasn't always getting distracted by video games and cocktails!