Скорошни рецензии на `'EGOrilla 🦍

- 30 fps lock warning... In a racing game.
- Unlocking the fps breaks the engine.
- Pardon me while I puke.

Remember how when in Doom 3 you ♥♥♥♥ your pants when you looked yourself in the mirror in that bathroom at the beginning? Well that's long gone now kids, you'll never ♥♥♥♥ your pants again with Doom, considering how overly gamey it has become. Ok, sure, its excellent in it's own right mechanically speaking and certainly makes you feel like the ultimate badass whooping ass left right and center buuut I feel as though there has been something lost in translation, a certain element of je ne sais quoi. With Eternal its like you're playing a videogame and everyone in the room knows you're playing a videogame including the videogame itself, but yet you're left with desperately trying to achieve even a brief moment of suspension of disbelief because you just wanna forget you're playing a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ videogame for a minute >_<

I would never, ever, EVER buy an Early Access game, let alone on release day... except THIS! Keep up the good works bois, you know the wey ^_~

A Bon, bonbon visuels... avec des glitches puisque c'est ubisoft, comme microsoft mais beaucoup plus incompetent. Enfin c'est La France apres Marie Antoinette dans le monde d'Asscreed.

7.77/10

Merci Marie Antoinette, Merci

EDIT: just to add on to the funny review, wholley shiznit the controls are as bad as ever in this game, you try to do one thing and your char does something else entirely or just hangs there while getting smacked by a gang of vicious AIs, it takes real effort to run through doors or windows. Also the glitches are sometimes hilarious, the funniest for me was the game spawning a doorman during a cutscene with napoleon while you're discussing some assassin ♥♥♥♥, he pops outta nowhere and starts asking you in french why you haven't used the door to enter... just seemingly deliberate level of hilarity overall.

Give me all your poor, oxygen deprived and alien spores infected sick and I shall build you a gulag of happiness on a far away hostile world. A utopia powered by work performance enhancing drugs and strict caloric intake restrictions based on the subject's height and occupation plus mental acuity for good measure. EVERYONE would be equal, but some would be more equal than others, as usual of course. But no all jokes aside this ones pretty fun, challenging fantastic looking city builder. I definitely prefer it to Cities Skylines because the gameplay is more goal oriented. One moment you're doing great and everything is in the green then the next if you're not too careful everything can quite easily spiral out of control and all your political prisoners suddenly die. Anyways enough chit chat, it is time to go worship the Supreme Leader now.

Its Remedy, so as usual you should expect an Ocean... wait actually a Lake, Sam Lake baby!! ... that's it, thats the joke, you can go now =P

Ist shorten schweeten butt gutten gamen... yaaa!!

Do you want to know The Way? I will show you.

♪Show You di weiiii show tHe wAy aaahh ♪

No bruhda this is not the way actually

Codemasters Owned by EA... RIP in peace codies =(

Cyber*glitches_out*p-P-p-Pop-p-Punk... 20...30...40....60.....80...9000+ [comp spontaneously combusts collapsing space and time into a singularity forming a blackhole thus creating a whole new almost identical universe in which this game launched 2 years later but in a perfect, bugless state... like it deserved to to begin with!