Recent reviews by Smegman

Video games are art.

The game is beautiful. Without spoiling anything, I will just say that almost all the quest lines leave a genuine emotional impact. Visually, the world is exceptional. The combat is a marked improvement from the previous game. The main story is really strong because it doesn't tell the story of a chosen hero going up against some god of destruction/ the man who murdered his family/ som other thing. It is a story about people first, and that is what makes the game so cool. Also, for all the depressing ♥♥♥♥ that goes on, there are some really clever and funny moments that lighten the game up. I personally don't like Gwent, but it's a nice addition for those that like side games. Just buy the game and you will get your money's worth within the first couple hours, I assure you.

Side note: Be sure to change the key bindings/ play with a controller. The default controls are terrible.

I was about 5 or so hours into the game and I was really enjoying myself. It was around this time I thought it would be a good idea to hunt for different animals so I could get better gear (more pistol capacity, better armor, etc.). There I was, wandering on some island near cuba when I saw a sea turtle. With my head filled thoughts of turtle armor and other possibilities, I shot it, not thinking much of it. Edward saunters toward the turtle and I press the button to take my reward from the carcass. Nothing. I try again and again, growing more desperate each time. I am experiencing flashbacks of myself several seconds ago, laughing maniacly as I unload round after round of lead into the unsuspecting sea creature.

I am crying now. I just wanted to be a pirate."What have I become?" I ask myself, half sobbing, half screaming. I cannot tear my eyes away from the unmoving turtle corpse. My high hopes of sweet turtle armor have transitioned to thoughts of suicide. I am a murderer now. I push myself away from my computer desk and fall to the ground into a pool of my own excrement. My mother walks into the room to see her only son covered in his own filth and muttering the word "turtle" over and over. She sheds a single tear. She knows what I have done. She quickly calls the cops on me and has me arrested. I don't fight the officers as they lift me up from my fecal pool and into their cruiser. I get sentenced to death for voluntary turtle slaughter of the first degree. I don't order a last meal, because all food tastes like sea turtles and shame now.They take me to the electric chair and tie a blindofold around my eyes. I don't struggle anymore. I am numb. All I can think of is the turtle.

As the tagline for Civ is, "Just one more turn", the tagline for this game should be, "Just one more run." The gameplay is smooth, fast paced, and addictive. But it now. Oh god I have made a horrible mistake.

This game is excellent. Not only does the dark and intriguing world of this game captivate, immerse, and enthrall you, it supplies you with an interesting, adult story and characters that you actually like and care about. The combat is satisfying and is challenging, breaking away from games the likes of Assassins Creed, and taking a more tactical approach. If you are an idiot who blindly runs into the fray, this game's combat isn't for you. It requires forethought and premeditated consumption of buff granting potions that can be crafted throughout the game. Or just dodge roll like hell, which is also a valid option. The story is finely crafted. You know those roleplaying games that say "The world is defined by the choices you make," but really your choices only affect what a certain NPC will say to you and thecolor pallete of the ending? Well, it is really great to say it doesn't apply here. I won't spoil the choice, but half of the game is determined by a single choice you make. This also adds a ton of replay value. Good story and world building. Overall good game. 9.9/10

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS!