"Stunning"

foley

The miracles of Jesus Gains Christ

As Jesus went on from there, a poor man lay immobilized on his lazy-boy, calling out to Jesus.

"Lord, I cannot walk, for I have greatly surpassed the required reps whilst squatting", he said.

At once, Jesus removed his outer garment and turned it into a foam roller. As Jesus healed the man, he rebuked the evil that possessed him shouting "be gone, lactic acid build up!".

The man on the lazy-boy was healed at that moment. Jesus told the man, "Stand up, and walk up those stairs". At once the man ran up the steps with pace. "Now, go man, for you can now walk over to your car and drive it to spread the word of the lord. Jesus left, but not before showing the man his natty gains.

Liftiticus 22:1-7

You're looking buff today dude

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711

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