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23 of 54 (43%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

La Nonna é Mobile

Meet a powerful granny.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 1:34pm

Holy Driver

Ride the Popemobile to victory.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 2:02pm

Harvest Noon

Don't fear the reaper. Be the reaper.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 2:35pm

See Carcassonne And Die

Cross the French countryside and get very cross.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 3:09pm

The Informant?

What if you could talk to the monsters?
Unlocked 18 Mar @ 2:47pm

Class Reunion

Navigate the citadel of Carcassonne. Start reassembling your team.
Unlocked 18 Mar @ 3:44pm

The Last Human

Get justice. Get the Holy Grail. Get screwed over.
Unlocked 25 Mar @ 2:48pm

From Earth With Love

Send Mental a message he won't forget.
Unlocked 2 Apr @ 12:58pm

Get Serious

Unlock 10 S.A.M.s in a single playthrough.
Unlocked 2 Apr @ 12:18pm

Enemy of My Enemy

Make 20 enemies kill each other using Psychotropic Grenades.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 3:09pm

Say Hello To My Mini Friend

Spend 1000 minigun rounds while firing continuously.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 2:02pm

No Surrender

Kill 5 enemies in a row while your health is below 10 HP.
Unlocked 25 Mar @ 12:48pm

This Seems Safe

Unlock a S.A.M.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 1:40pm

Dismemberfest

Dismember 50 enemies with cannonballs.
Unlocked 2 Apr @ 12:20pm

Hard Science Fiction

Get a weaponized black hole, using science.
Unlocked 18 Mar @ 3:35pm

You Have Been Wormed

Assist Dr. Vermetti in his war on worms.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 1:26pm

Where's That Girl

Make sure Gabriella is OK.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 1:17pm

Southern Gentleman

Assist a couple of young ladies out hunting.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 2:15pm

Serious Art

Protect humanity's treasures from invaders with no taste.
Unlocked 11 Mar @ 3:21pm

The French Achievement

Achievement is your middle name.
Unlocked 18 Mar @ 2:29pm

Classic Hero Stuff

Save a princess. Doesn't get more classic than that.
Unlocked 18 Mar @ 3:15pm

Quality Time

Go on a date with Hellfire.
Unlocked 25 Mar @ 2:48pm

Brass Lantern

Finish a text adventure. On an oil rig. During an alien invasion.
Unlocked 25 Mar @ 3:10pm



Regression

Get knocked on the head and remember how you got here.

Ecclesiastical Extraction

Save the rookie. Find Father Mikhail. See the sights.

Roman Holiday

Get together with your friends and kill something big.

Volcano Antagonizer

Die HAARP With A Vengeance.

Hot Hot Hot

Run away from an angry volcano you foolishly antagonized.

All Roads Lead To Rome

Head into Rome. Ditch Rodriguez.

Are You Not Entertained?

Party like it's 199.

Oil's Well That Ends Well

Escape the Oil Rig.

Serious Sam

Beat the game on any difficulty.

Oh, Shut Up

Destroy 10 propaganda drones.

Bullseye

One-shot kill 3 Werebulls with a shotgun.

Tear 'n' Rip

Melee a big enemy.

Max Pain

Kill 5 enemies during a single Time Warp slowdown.

Atomic Wedgie

Use the mininuke to eliminate 100 enemies at once.

Heads Up!

Kill 100 enemies with a headshot.

Pow Pow!

Kill an Aludran Reptiloid using nothing but a pistol.

Megabarf

Kill a Belcher using Belcher collateral barf damage.

Spinal Tap

Kill 11 different enemies using melee attacks.

All Kleer

Kill 50 healthy Kleers with a direct double shotgun hit.

Harvest Festival

Harvest 100 enemies with a combine harvester.

Spread the Joy

Kill 3 enemies with a double shotgun blast.

Veni Vidi Witchy

Kill a Witchbride using C4.

Quadruple the Gun

Kill 20 enemies while dual wielding double shotguns.

The Spirit of Roma

Fight alongside Massimo Murena.

Cultist Stimulator

Recover a key stolen by a cultist.

For the Cause

Find out what happened to Alessandro.

That Belongs In A Museum

Recover the alien artifact located by Dr. Stein.

That Burning Sensation

Collect scorched aliens for Professor Kiesel.

Signature Move

Sign Secchi's rifle.

Mushroom Surprise

Find out what happened to the English airman.

Fulbert le Fou

Discover Fulbert's great invention.