Recent reviews by Don Schlemmon

blue balls the game

i really want to like this game and have played it much longer than i have on steam when it was still a bethesda launcher exclusive. the worldspace as a concept and the expansion of the lore on vault-tec and the enclave is really cool. i'm glad they brought back voiced NPCs, too. but it has so many glaring flaws that a AAA company seriously shouldn't be excused for.

the game looks like ass, even on max graphics. the gameplay is boring. the worldspace is a shallow ocean. NPC ai is super buggy and unimmersive. this doesn't even cover the ridiculousness of their subscription benefits.

it's great that they're trying(?) to make something out of this game, but it's still not fun to play after all this time.

even setting aside hatred of blizzard, it's not balanced and is more frustrating than fun. even with friends.

a cesspit of animalistic rage. a harsh, unending climb to an ephemeral and unsatisfying high. Do Not play this game.

In its current state, you will see everything there is to do in your first hour of playing

If you hold any significant appreciation for the natural world that you belong to, you should play ABZÛ.

how are you supposed to not blink when you're crying so hard

fun. short.

Obviously it's supposed to be confusing and surreal, but it doesn't feel like it was made to be as confusing as it is. Playing it is not fun. The whole experience becomes especially confusing once you get the tool for placing blocks, not knowing if what you're doing is even intended or not.

It cannot be overstated how confusing, unintuitive, and toxic the initial player experience is. After an hour of failing to find our way to ANYWHERE meaningful and being screamed at by every player we saw, we resigned to trying one last voyage to determine if this game was worth keeping.

We promptly got our boat lodged and unmovable and learned there is no dedicated mechanic to reset it.