Quotes of sage wisdom

"....I’mma brb, I need to go retrace my steps and figure out at which point my brain dropped out my a**hole" - asugar
"Boy, you must be on Mr. Magoo levels of eyesight" - misterdonny
"Not so fast Yugi. Setting yourself in face down position just activated my trap card. This effect flips you in face-up pants off position allowing me to suck you off directly." - benjamindoverson
"I always delay work to the last possible moment, because I will be older and therefore wiser." -Jeremy Clarkson
"Cassowaries are straight up modern dinosaurs. (...) mad fu**ing murderbirds" - oldmandavies
4st 2rd forced turd
ohm is how to measure resistance. i know this because if you try to evict the ohmless, they can't resist -firenuke
"Corn is a side dish that goes with nothing" - TheIntern
">This witch uses a gba to get off
NOW YOU'RE PLAYNG WITH POWER" - Anon
I wonder where had this fat f*ck floated in from - Fred
"I like people, usually. But some people need to be incinerated for tallow." - assrocketeer
"Prostate? You mean the Sh*toris?" -sanchoporkwiches
"What is a muslim's most hated insect? A Mosque-Eater" -naroemcgarson
"The dementia comes in the second act - Brett, TearofGrace
"There's a thin, malleable line between secret, esoteric knowledge and mental deficiency." - dateonepanda
"Out of the fire, into the Honda" -thatsnumberwang
"Alcoholics are the best ----ing people. Especially when they are drunk. God bless those unhinged devils. May all women fear their unrivaled gravitas and suffer under the weight of the liquid that bringeth forth the most sincere and unabashed emotion that booze doth bless upon the worthy. May the unwashed masses cower in the face of drunken strength that only God's gift to the world doth bring. THE TIMID SHALL COWER IN THE FACE OF THEIR INTOXICATED MASTERS AND KNEEL TO THE THRONE OF DRUNKENNESS AND NO MAN CAN CURSE THE BOOZER WHOSE SOUL IS PURIFIED THROUGH WIT AND TERROR AND DEATH COME UPON THEE, THY COWARDS. THY SOBER COWARDS."- bouchedag
"He's on that aushwitz diet plan" - Anon
"My family has a saying: Shut up" - RelaxAlax

dlcdementia-

Tape for the mouth
Rope for the burn
Keep ghosting me like that
and you'll live in an urn

francosaga-

I'm heading to the showers
I stand behind a man
Just according to keikaku
TL: keikaku means plan

giraffle-

There once was a man from Cass
Whose balls were made from brass
When they clanged together
They played stormy weather
And lightning shot out of his a*s