It's Black Friday you thrifty thots and it's time to open up those purses and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, drop a dime and drop that phat ass on some big juicy Black Friday deals Capitalism is a foundation of this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and what better way to celebrate than to go two for one on some enormous savings and some enormous ♥♥♥♥. Doors aren't the only things busting this Friday all deals are first ♥♥♥ first serve so this year be daddy capitalism's good little CUMsumer and stimulate the economy Send to of your sluttiest spenders, if you get none back you got trampled at Walmart, if you got back you lost your weave in the bargain bin, if you got back you're getting discount ♥♥♥♥ for Christmas, if you get all back Jeff Bezos will blow his shot all over you and pay off your HOLE Amazon cart

💓👅 Ladies 👯‍♀️, just like your 🦃 THOTSgiving 🦃 turkey, it’s time ⏰ to throw your legs 🤸🏼‍♀️in the air 🤸🏼‍♀️and prepare to get ➡️ STUFFED 🙀! After dinner,🍴it’s time 😮 for CUMPKIN PIE!! 🥧 Show Daddy 👨🏽‍🦳 how 🙏🏼 thankful 🙏🏼 you are and LICKK 😛 his WishBONE 🦴 until he gets as HARD 🏔as PlyMOUTH rock ⛰ and shoots 💦 his HOMEADE GRAVY 🥣! 👅 Midnight 🌙 starts 😈 BLACK ⬛️ FRIDAY 🛍 so send 📤 this to 🔟 THOTS 💁🏻‍♀️you are thankful 🙏🏼 for! If you get 0️⃣ back, sail 🔙 to England 🖕🏻🤮 If you get 5️⃣ back, you’ll be getting your corn 🌽 CREAMED 😋🥰. Get 🔟 back or more, and the 🙀 BIGGEST, 🙀 GIRTHIEST, BLACK⚫️ FRIDAY 🍆 ♥♥♥♥ 😱 is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 💦YOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT 🙀😍🙀😍🙀😍

Give this rose to every one you want to anally devastate:
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Hey guys, just wanted to wish you all happy holidays. discord is filled with ready-made messages that you don't even read, you just copy and paste to every chat, I don't like that, I like writing from my heart. Our friendship, from the deepest to virtual, is very important to me and couldn't ever be represented by a cookie-cutter message from anywhere. So, I'd like to thank you all, you're the best Call of Duty server I've ever interacted with.

SATAN is👹workin overtime💪to make a new level of hell ⚒🎉💀HENRY PISSinger☠️ has FINALLY ♥♥♥♥♥♥ DIED!! u may know this proPIGandist🐽🐽 by his greatest hits: BOMBINGS💣, GENOCIDES😡😢, MILITARY💂COUPS💥, and🚔CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY🏴‍☠️!! but DID U KNOW 🧠❓he was also hillary clinton's 👵🏻close personal friend😘👯‍♀️🆒!! he devoted his life to DICKlaring 🍆war 🚫AGAINST 🚫 the CUMMIES💦💂💦 and other unCUNTstitutional 🍑🦪things and ppl called him a hero🤔🤷😡⁉️ we pour one out 🍻 🥂🍾 for one of the WORST PEOPLE🤢👿🤢 to ever do it‼️ so SPREAD ↔️THOSE LEGS 💃💃 like ur the freedom 🗽of infWHOREmation 📚📜📚act &send this to 2️⃣1️⃣ people u want to give u their TRICKY D1CK 👁👅👁. GET5️⃣ BACK, you’ll give someone a déTENTe ⛺️IN THEIR PANTS get 🔟 back and you’ll be getting realpoliDICKED🤤🍆DOWN with that MISSILE TREATY😏🚀🚀😏

Walking home today some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bumped into me and instantly started talking ♥♥♥♥ about aluminum being the best metal. I tried to calm him down and explain to him that iron was actually the best metal, but he wouldn’t take a hint. He started throwing around words like “rust” and I lost it. Punched him right in his aluminum-loving face. I hate aluminum so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much.