Fertich's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 11 Mar, 2018 @ 10:28am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 11 Mar, 2018 @ 10:39am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2018 @ 11:01am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 10 Mar, 2018 @ 3:52pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 11 Mar, 2018 @ 10:10am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2018 @ 8:37am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 18 Mar, 2019 @ 5:11pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 19 Mar, 2019 @ 2:37pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 19 Mar, 2019 @ 3:11pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2019 @ 7:42am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2019 @ 12:29pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 23 Mar, 2019 @ 7:06am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 7 Mar, 2019 @ 11:49am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2019 @ 7:16am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2024 @ 4:56pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 20 Mar, 2018 @ 8:48am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2019 @ 5:04pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2019 @ 2:15pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2019 @ 1:00pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2019 @ 2:04pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2019 @ 9:12am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 7 Mar, 2019 @ 11:50am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2019 @ 2:15pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2024 @ 3:09pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2019 @ 11:07am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2024 @ 5:41pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 19 Mar, 2019 @ 3:13pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2019 @ 8:54am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2019 @ 10:00am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2019 @ 10:56am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 12 Mar, 2018 @ 10:54am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2019 @ 11:36am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2019 @ 6:48am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 11 Mar, 2018 @ 10:18am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2018 @ 12:02pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2018 @ 12:02pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 10 Mar, 2018 @ 11:53am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 11 Mar, 2018 @ 10:12am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 11 Mar, 2018 @ 10:05am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 11 Mar, 2018 @ 10:13am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 22 Mar, 2019 @ 10:49am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2024 @ 6:07pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2024 @ 3:02pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 9 Mar, 2019 @ 9:43am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 11 Mar, 2018 @ 10:09am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 19 Mar, 2019 @ 2:53pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2024 @ 6:04pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2019 @ 12:31pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2019 @ 7:00am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2019 @ 9:11am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2019 @ 11:58am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 9 Mar, 2019 @ 5:33am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 9 Mar, 2019 @ 9:55am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2019 @ 6:55am

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2019 @ 9:50am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 9 Mar, 2019 @ 9:51am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 9 Mar, 2019 @ 9:35am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 19 Mar, 2019 @ 1:45pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

11 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

13 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

22 / 30

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

3 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

5 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

2,485 / 5,000