Recent reviews by Casual Male, Extra Large

Just do it up

We love the trumpet, don't we folks.

Video games need to stop trying to be funny, it's painful.

Not playable in Skirmish mode, and just re-uses unit barks from Hiigarian units lol

Gaters,

It is with a heavy heart that we announce the cessation of development for Stormgate. After four months in Early Access, Frost Giant Studios has worked hard to deliver the best video game experience we can, however Stormgate has failed to live up to our sales expectations.

From the beginning, our goal was to deliver a groundbreaking RTS experience, and we are deeply saddened that we could not fulfill this vision. Despite our best efforts and the incredible support from our community, we have been unable to sustain the development of Stormgate.

We want to extend our sincerest gratitude to all our players, backers, and supporters. Your passion and feedback were invaluable to us. We are profoundly grateful for the journey we shared and the memories created along the way.

Sincerely,
The Frost Giant Studios Team

What follows is a long list of incredibly amateur bugs, baffling UI decisions, and step backwards in gameplay and game design:

UI, Stability, and Lobby Issues

- The "Remove Player" button is non-functional in lobbies, so if someone is AFK, it kills the lobby.

- While typing in the chat box in a lobby, if someone else joins or types, it interrupts your typing input, requiring you to click into the box again to resume typing.

- Unlike almost every other online game in the past 30 years, when you press ENTER in game, to bring up the chat box, rather than being front and centre in the screen, it’s tucked away at the bottom. And UNLIKE EVERY OTHER GAME IN THE PAST 30 YEARS, pressing Enter to send your text through doesnt automatically close the dialogue box, it remains open, out of view, and you need to press ESC to close it

- When someone joins the lobby, the map resets to the default 1v1 map, somewhat breaking the lobby as it prevents others from joining until the map resets. Due to the poor UI design, the host might not notice this issue.

- The UI in general feels like it was developed from a Duplo Drag & Drop software designed to teach teens how to program.

- Under many of the UI elements are programming text leftover from the Duplo Build-a-UI, that made it into the full release
https://i.imgur.com/4s5mWR3.png

- The UI design philosophy seems to "Dementia Clock" and if so, it 100% accomplishes this vision.

- The game frequently runs out of memory and crashes when other applications (browser, Discord, Slack, etc.) are open. It also redlines my 3080.

- The universal upgrade for strikecraft is tucked away and easily overlooked on the build menu.

- Quick Match often places players either in games by themselves that end abruptly or in broken lobbies attempting to accommodate three players in a 1v1.

- Joining a lobby has about a 40% success rate. Most time out or simply can't connect.

- The absence of team chat in a pvp is baffling.

- The decision to have the text in the lobby chat bar flash every 3 seconds is nonsensical and disruptive.

Gameplay and Balance


- There really is no strategy here. Resource income is so fast, that games devolve to spamming units, and then trying to win an APM race as blobs fly around one another as seen in this clip https://imgur.com/j8McgZl

- The inclusion of terrain means that maps are SIGNIFICANTLY smaller. The biggest 3v3 map is smaller than Deserts of Kharaks 1v1 maps

- Terrain also gets in the way of Homeworlds full 3d gameplay. Because there is now a top, bottom, left and right in the map there is SIGNIFICANTLY less room to move around, and it’s now just like any other top-down RTS.

- Maps that have a lot of terrain end up blocking views. In the zoomed out tactical view, you cannot select units if they are behind terrain, even though in this view, terrain is see through and you can see the unit. You will need to maneuver the camera around the busy maps to select your unit.

- Hiigarian bombers melt resource collectors, no unit on the Incarnate side can do this.

- The tech tree is linear, offering no strategic choices for either faction. Every match consists of waddling your mothership to the opponent and spamming units.

- There are no upgrades or modules for your Mothership like in previous editions. In DoK, focusing on your carrier upgrades was a path you could take in a game. Now all your mothership does is spit out dinky low damage PDCs

- Wargames is an incredibly boring mode. What if you could play homeworld with less units, a much lower pop, and more braindead AI that spawn out of thin-air at points specifically pointed out on the map?

I have never played a game that has made ask, outloud, to my empty decrepit hovel “What is going on at this studio?” more than this game.

The highlight of the game is the soundtrack, which aboslutely rules, and the fact that Paul Ruskay did not make the soundtrack for nu-Dune shows how cursed this world is.

Dong of Piss

Colon ♥♥♥♥ is a eurojank RPG, with dollar store production value.

Set in one of the most interesting sci-fi settings ever made, the branching plot moves at breakneck speed as you leave regime change in your wake. It's one of the best cRPGs I've played.

A handful of Slavs made a far better written, and more interesting RPG than the a legion of Belgians with a major intellectual property ever could.

I wish my face was Johanna's saddle

I need Cammy to strangle me to death with her thighs