Haggis: We're a band of vicious pirates!
Edward: A sailin´ out to sea.
Bill: When you hear our gentle singing...
Haggis: You'll be sure to turn and flee!

Guybrush: Oh, this is just ridiculous.

Guybrush: Come on, men! We've got to recover that map!
Bill: That pirate will be done for, when he falls into our trap!
Bill: We're a club of tuneful rovers!
Haggis: We can sing in every clef!
Edward: We can even hit the high notes!
Haggis: It's just too bad we're tone deaf!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!
All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: Let's go defeat that evil pirate!
Edward: We know he's sure to lose, ´cause we know just where to fire at!

Edward: We're thieving balladeers.
Haggis: A gang of cutthroat mugs.
Bill: To fight us off ye don't need guns!
Edward: Just jolly good ear plugs!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!
All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: All right, crew, let's get to work!
Haggis: Our vocation is a thing we love, a thing we'd never shirk.

Haggis: We'll fight you in the harbor.
Bill: We'll battle you on land.
Edward: When you meet singing pirates...
Guybrush: They'll be more than you can stand.

Bill: Ooooh! That was a good one!
Guybrush: No, it wasn't.

Guybrush: No time for song! We've got to move!
Bill: The battle will be long, but our courage we will prove!

Bill: We're a pack a´ scurvy sea dogs.
Haggis: Have we pity? Not a dram!
Edward: We all eat roasted garlic...
Haggis: ...then sing from the diaphragm!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!
All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: Less singing, more sailing.
Edward: When we defeat our wicked foe, his ship he will be bailing!

Bill: If ye try ta fight us...
Haggis: ...you will get a nasty whackin´!
Edward: If ya disrespect our singing´...
Bill: ...we will feed ya to a kraken!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!
All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: I´m getting so sick of you guys and your rhyming.
Haggis: We´re ready to set sail, through the cannons need a priming.

Edward: We're troublesome corsairs!
Bill: And we've come to steal your treasures!
Haggis: We would shoot you on the downbeat...
Edward: ...but we gotta rest five measures.

All: A pirate I was meant to be!
All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: Stop! Stop! Stop!
Bill: The brass is what we'll polish and the deck is what we'll mop.

Guybrush: You say you're nasty pirates...
Guybrush: ...scheming, thieving, bad bushwhackers?
Guybrush: From what I've seen I tell you...
Guybrush: ...you're not pirates! You're just slackers!

All: A pirate I was meant to be!
All: Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush: We'll surely avoid scurvy if we all eat an orange.
Haggis: And...!
Haggis: ...um...
Bill: Well...
Edward: ...err...
Bill: Door hinge?
Edward: No, no...
Bill: Guess the song's over, then.
Haggis: Guess so.
Edward: Okay, back to work.
Guybrush: Well gee. I feel a little guilty, now.