"If there was no insanity, it would be necessary to create it." -Catbag

"I hear and I forget. I see and I forget. I do, and I forget...Wait, what were we talking about?" -Confucius

"MechWarrior 3 is the best game in the universe." -Raccoon

"Hello, darkness, my old friend...I've come to talk with you again..." -Simon and Garfunkel, "The Sound of Silence"

"Who the ♥♥♥♥ are you!? Get out of my house!" -Darkness

"Peanuts are like cocaine...pleasurable, but dangerous in large amounts." -George Washington Carver

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. Orion getting really annoyed at them, and trying to swat them away with his great, big, Greek mythology hand. Orion missing the attack ships by several miles. The attack ships trying to get away, but accidentally slamming into Orion's shoulder at full speed. Orion going to Dr. Tannhäuser, because the attack ships tore a giant hole in his shoulder. The doctor telling Orion that he needs to take a suppository for it to heal properly. All those moments will be lost, in time, like tears in my sausage gravy. Time to play video games."
-Some stupid android guy without an umbrella

"Christmas: The most innocent and wonderful holiday of the year...until someone gets you Bad Ratz as your present." -Manta J. Claus (Christmas Historian, Brother of Santa Claus, Killer of Steve Erwin)

"It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well...Incidentally, using it well involves piloting giant robots while eating Hot Pockets." -René Descartes

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop-" -Ayn Rand

"MOO!" -A cow, stopping Ayn Rand

"The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic. I'm not sure about the deaths of 2 to 1,999,999 men, though." - Josef Stalin

"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." - J. Robert Oppenheimer, quoting the Bhagavad Gita

"Uh, actually, your translation is off. That verse should go-" - Pedantic guy who knows Sanskrit

"Now I am become Robert Oppenheimer, the giver of zero ♥♥♥♥♥." - J. Robert Oppenheimer, in response to pedantic guy who knows Sanskrit

"The true enemy isn't yourself, it's snakes." - Unknown

"Christmas is a battlefield." - Santa Claus

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart. Going there with half your heart means you'll have insufficient blood flow, and probably some internal bleeding. So go with all your heart." - Confucius

"If cease were predictable it would life to flavor life, and be without be." -Eleanor Roosevelt(?)

"With great power, comes great tomfoolery." -Samuel O'Nella, "Scandalous Popes of the Middle Ages"

"0% cars, 0% naked girls, 0% money, 100% pure guerilla warfare." -Anthony Angelone, in response to the video "Frank Sinatra sings the Navy Seals Copypasta (Speech Synthesis)"

"I'm pretty sure [Abraham] Lincoln chokeslammed somebody." -MandaloreGaming, professional Limbo of the Lost speedrunner

"Is all that we see or seem but a dream within a dream?" -Edgar Alan Poe

"No. Real stuff is real stuff, idiot." -Edgar Alan Poe, again

"This town is full of monsters! How can you sit there and eat pizza!?" -James Sunderland, asking Eddie Dombrowski the real questions

"I had to detonate a nuclear bomb to cover my escape." -Anonymous

"Every time someone asks to "touch base" I think about touching the base of their brain stem with a studded bat." -Samuel O'Nella

"You can never prove the absence of ninjas, only their direct presence." -Gordon Freeman, "Freeman's Mind"

"Love the life you live. Live the life you love. Life the live you love. Love the live you life. Live the love you life." - Bob Marley

"All warfare is based." -Sun Tzu

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, don't dig any graves, because then you'll get tired." - Confucius

"Don't cry because it's over, cry because it happened." Zach Hadel