Boy♂Next♂Door♂

Spectāculum Aëreī
I
C.I.A: Doctor Pāvel, C.I.A. sum.
Masketta: Sōlus is nōn fuerat…
C.I.A.: Ēn, tē nōn comitentur amīcī.
Pāvel: Nōn sunt meī amīcī…
Masketta: Nōlī sollicitārī, nōn ferēs illōs.
C.I.A.: Et… cūr illōs cupiam?
Masketta: Prædam cōnābantur corripere. Serviunt mercannāriō, virō persōnā.
C.I.A.: Bānus…?… Importāte eōs! Ego referam!
II
C.I.A: Cōnsilium volātūs modo rettulī lēgātīs agit dē mē, meīs virīs, et Doctōre Pāvelīr, at sōlum ūnō vestrum! Prīmus loquēns potest manēre in meā aëreōnāve!
C.I.A: Quī vōs pendēbat ut corriperētis Doctōrem Pāvel!?
C.I.A: Nōn optimē volāvit! Quī vult nunc cōnārī?
C.I.A: Mī dīc dē Bānō! Cūr gerit persōnam!? Tanta fidēlitās vēnālī!
Bānus: Vel, fortasse, mīrātur cūr aliquis jaculet virum ante eum abiciat ex aëreō?
C.I.A.: Saltem potes dīcere. Quis es tū?
Bānus: Nōn interest, quī nōs esse. Quod interest, est nostrum cōnsilium. Nullus mē studuerat, dōnec induī persōnam.
C.I.A.: Sī illam āvulserō, moriēris?
Bānus: Fuerit tantus dolor…
C.I.A.: Es mās amplus.
Bānus: Tibi.
C.I.A.: Fuerat hæc captīvitās pars tuī cōnsiliī?
Bānus: Prō certō! Doctor Pāvel dētrectāvit nostram condiciōnem prō vestrā. Comperiendum nōbīs erat, quod vōbīs dīxit.
Pāvel: Nihil! Dīxī nihil!
C.I.A.: Ēn congrātulātiōnēs. Tū es nunc captus!
Mīles: Tribūne?
C.I.A.: At quod est gradus sequēns tuī cōnsiliī perītī?
Bānus: Ruere hunc aëreum… sine superstitibus!
III
Bānus: Nōlī! Exspectant ūnum nostrum in naufragiō, frāter.
Frāter Ignis: Incēpimus ignem?
Bānus: Ita. Ignis surgit.
Bānus: Estō æquus, Doctor. Nunc nōn est hōra timōris. Posteā advenit illa.


LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING BROTHER, WHEN THE HULKSTER AND ALL HIS LITTLE HULKAMANICS RAIN DOWN ON THE TERRORISTS FROM OUR RED AND YELLOW SPACE CRUISER, I'LL RING THE LIFE OUT OF THEM WITH MY 34 INCH PYTHONS! I'LL THROW THEIR COUNTRY INTO SPACE WITH MY LARGEST GUNS IN THE WORLD AND WHEN THEY'RE CRYING FOR HELP THAT WHEN I'LL FLY UP AND LEG DROP THEM BACK DOWN TO EARTH, NOW WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN SPACE HULK RUNS WILD ON YOU?! DON'T WORRY BROTHER, IF AMERICA EVER FALLS TO THE TERRORISTS, I'LL BE THE BATTLESHIP THAT SAVES HER. ALL MY LITTLE HULKAMANICS WILL FLY OFF MY BACK AND BOMB THOSE TERRORISTS WITH RED WHITE & BLUE, THEN WHEN THEIR LEADER COMES I'LL WRAP MY 34 INCH PYTHONS ROUND HIS NECK AND SQEEUZE TILL HE BECOMES A PATRIOT! WHEN THE SMOKES CLEARED, MY BEST FRIEND MACHO MAN WILL DESEND FROM THE GREAT RING IN THE SKY AND EBLOW DROP SATAN WHILE I STRANGLE HIM WITH MY 34 INCH PYTONS AND WHEN HE's BEGGING FOR MERCY, THAT's WHEN I'LL TURN INTO HOLLYWOOD. HE'LL BEG "NO HOLLYWOOD, DON't" BUT I'LL JUST KEEP POUNDING AND POUNDING TILL HE's RED WHITE AND BLUE, NOW WHAT YA GONNA DO WHEN GOD HULK RUNS WILD ON YOOOOUU ULTIMATE WARRIOR, BROTHER, MY 34 INCH PYTHONS ARE THE COMFIEST IN THE WORLD BROTHER! I'LL MAKE YOU FALL ASLEEP IN MY ARMS AND WHEN THE MOON RISES, I'LL READ YOU AN AMERICAN BED TIME STORY AND TUCK YOU IN WITH YOUR HULK HOGAN COVER, NOW WHAT YA GONNA DO WHEN HULK HOGAN TUCKS YOU?!?! LISTEN WARRIOR, TOGETHER WE CAN FLY TO SPACE BROTHER, AND WHEN THE ALIENS ATTACK WE'LL FIGHT THEM IN A TAG TEAM MATCH FOR THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE, YOU'LL PRESS SLAM THE ALIEN KING WHILE I HOLD HIM DOWN WITH MY 34 INCH PYTHONS AND WHEN THE SMOKES CLEAR, WE'LL BE THE TRUE RULERS OF THE UNIVERSE, NOW WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN HOGAN AND WARRIOR INVADE YOOUU RECHARGE, THEN FIGHT TERRORISTS FOR THE PRESIDENT
GOODBYE BROTHER, TAKE YOU VITAMINS, SAY YOUR PRAYS AND ALWAYS BE A HULKAMANIAC