Recent reviews by Hex: Nicolas Cage

hahahahah the game said boob

in all seriousness this is a jackbox game but with even less scope and the prompts all are terrible, plus there's only 3 games for the price of 5!

A poor excuse of a port of a great 90s pinball game. The Duke Nukem table is gone (Thanks Randy), options and customization has been gutted beyond any possible belief, the default presentation of the tables is awful with no way to change anything, the two new tables included by Atari are unworthy of the Balls of Steel moniker. Not to mention the new tables have sound design that could literally make a person deaf.

Miserable port. Don't buy it. Search the Internet for the older version of the game that comes with BOS Loader and play that instead. Atari doesn't deserve a dime for that botched porting job.

hjon hon hon my toothbrush's full of poop

Game crashed 50% of the time whenever I'd buy anything at a shop.

More than incompetent port, don't buy this game. I got this game as a gift and I still feel betrayed. Stick to the SNES and GBA versions if you want your FF6 well done.

Original premise for a game... too bad the game itself is an unoriginal NES platformer.

As Mike, you must survive through Valley Lodge by leaving your family behind in order to jump, run and shoot snakes with a pistol. Sometimes you get a shotgun, which shoots a three-way projectile that won't hit anything else than whatever's in front of you. The first two levels of the game follow the movie, but everything is thrown out the window once you reach Level 3, which looks like Castlevania... as in it reuses the same graphics! Also, the boss of this level was supposedly so good it got reused in AVGN Adventures.

When Level 4 starts, your protagonist says "What a horrible night to have a missing wife and child!". Enough said.

As the game advances, the game stops bothering with Manos and becomes a Mystery Science Theater 3000 tribute. Tom Servo does a cameo in Level 2 and most levels involve enemies from other B-movies like Hobgoblins, Robot Monster and Plan 9 From Outer Space. Why call it Manos then? The setting fails because the writing is all centered on references, trying really hard to wink at you and say "Hey this happened in the movie, right?"

The game could have been good if the gameplay was interesting, but it isn't. You only shoot in a horizontal line and enemies just bounce back and forth forever, making fighting a joyless affair. Bosses are equally as mindless. The only challenge the game offers comes from occasionally unfair enemy and trap placement, where upon hitting them, you will bounce back in a pit and die. The game sometimes spice things up by making the whole screen dark around you, preventing you from anticipating obstacles and multiplying deaths where you fall in pits. Other levels are autoscrollers, which don't really have a reason for happening and forces you to progress at the game's pace. There's also a vertical autoscrolling level that rips off Castlevania 3.

Overall presentation is also weak. The graphics and sound are appropriately NES-styled, but they have no substance and fail at making an impression. The game also offers difficulty levels, but don't bother with them: all they do is remove health pickups, shotguns and checkpoints from levels. Yes, it makes the game harder, but it doesn't make it fun.

Manos will take you about 45 minutes to finish, maybe more if you want to get the full ending or finish the Torgo playthrough, which just switches sprites, makes you do lots of annoying noises and is slippery as all hell. The complete unoriginality is what mainly kills the game though; it doesn't attempt to add anything new to the old-school game formula, unlike games like Shovel Knight, Binding of Isaac or Axiom Verge. This game is about as faithful to its source material than a LJN game would be, so it's good at reminding you of LJN!

Build a boat. What are you waiting for? It ain't gonna build itself!

If you like Match-3 style of games, you'll enjoy this one. Graphics and sounds are on the minimalistic side (I turned off the music after roughly 30 minutes of playing) but gameplay is solid and engaging enough. You'll constantly be learning new abilities and new enemies and traps will always get in the way, requiring you to constantly elevate your matching abilities and being fast.

If you enjoy fast-paced Match-3 puzzle games, or if you enjoyed 10,000,000, this is a worthy sequel and game.

DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. Did I say you shouldn't buy this game? Really, don't do it. Stay with Armageddon.