THE MIRACLES OF THE LUBE MESSIAH:
• The Great Slathering – All things glisten with unnatural beauty.
• Friction is No More – Wars cease as swords slip from hands, bullets slide from chambers, and conflict is rendered… too slippery to continue.
• The Blessed Oozing – The deserts of Earth churn into rivers of shimmering slickness. The people rejoice in their new, forever-moist existence.
• The Holy Slippage – The faithful are rewarded: they now glide effortlessly across all surfaces, transcending the need for feet.