Recent reviews by poorboy

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☑ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☑ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☑ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☑ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☑ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☑ Isn't necessary to progress (Core unlocked from the start)
☐ Average grind level
☑ Too much grind (Sponsor and Cosmetic Unlocks)
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☑ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☑ Average
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☑ It's free!
☐ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☑ Not recommended (cosmetics are very expensive)
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☑ Can get annoying (frame rate issues)
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☑ 8
☐ 9
☐ 10

I was clearing out my backlog of owned games that I haven't played, and was very pleasantly surprised by Satellite Reign. This game is definitely worth trying out. Coming from Men of War Assault Squad 2, the game's controls and cover system made sense to me immediately. The game is undeniably janky as hell, as there are some very obvious glitches. To me, however, it adds to the charm. In my opinion, the game has aged very well.

Recommended.

Brawlhalla's now my second most played game on Steam, and I've loved it a lot, but I'm leaving a negative review.

Your servers are awful.

Playing matches where your character literally teleports across the screen is unacceptable in a game that tries to take itself seriously with esports, and makes for an intensely unsatisfying experience. Mid-to-high level play has players having to time dodges and combos with literally a couple of frames as a window for your inputs, and now my character has teleported/rubberbanded clear across the map? Are you kidding me?

This is supposed to be an online multiplayer game. Get servers that can make that happen.

I'm going deaf from all the explosions and gunfire and I don't even mind.

I'm so sorry, Pacer, I really wanted to like you.

Sound direction is one of the under-appreciated aspects of game development. People only really notice it when it is noticeably bad. Unfortunately, Pacer is one of those games. Not only are the sounds horrifyingly low-quality, they are tuned so poorly that anyone launching the game for the first time will likely blow their ears out, or their speakers-- whichever gives way first. Don't get me wrong, I'm not adverse to loud sounds. I like to crank things up. But Pacer is loud, AND it sounds bad.

It's like eating food that tastes okay but has a really gross texture. You want to like it, and you know you'd like it, but you can't.

i peed a little

Precisely the kind of positivity the world needs right now.

Incredible game. The less you know / read about this game, the better. Just go play it. Completely worth it, even at full price. Games with this much heart and such an incredible story are few and far between. This belongs among games like To The Moon, Finding Paradise, and Doki Doki Literature Club. Amazing. You'll be listening to its soundtrack for days afterwards. And, as always, stay determined!

Submerged is a simple, peaceful, and melancholy game. Sometimes, what you need is a good story that you can take at your own pace, and admire the scenery. That is what this game gives. If you enjoy story and exploration based "walking simulator" games, Submerged is a short and lovely take on the genre.

I felt compelled to write a review to offset the negative reviews being written by people simply because they're trash at the game.

Redout is NOT a game for instant gratification. It's not a game that says "Here's a vehicle capable of going thousands of kilometers per hour, go wild!" No. This is a game that says "You want to be a racing legend? You want to be the fastest person on the planet? Prove that you deserve that honor."

Tight corners. Ramps that launch you hundreds, or even thousands, of meters. Narrow roads. Less than a second of reaction time. If you enjoy smashing into walls, you probably don't belong behind the wheel of an anty-gravity racer, anyway.

If you're a person that enjoys instant gratification with minimal effort, leave now, and don't let the door hit you on the way out. No one's going to miss you, bye bye!

And for all of you that stayed, something must have drawn you in. The danger. The speed. The thrill of perfectly nailing that corner at 700 kilometers an hour. Something made you whisper... "I'm not afraid."

Welcome to Redout.