Recent reviews by The Captain

I'm single thanks to this game

Can't find anyone to play with. Spent 6.5 minutes waiting for a game in EU and there was nobody. Current userbase is an average of 7.2 players which just isn't enough for an online multiplayer game.

Pooadaria: Paload of ♥♥♥♥♥, because its ♥♥♥♥. A Fine example as to why you should judge a book by its cover.

I like many of you got this in the G2A Premium 5 key bundle. Usually with bundles like this, I hope to find some gems I've never heard of and what you get from this game is essentially a GIANT UNPOLISHED TURD.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfN4bo9ERDg

So for a review:

The music isn't that bad to be fair, it is what you'd get in an old school platformer on the NES/SNES, though the levels are extremely off with you going from quiet to load frequently.

You'll find naked ladies in side rooms, you'll fall from the top of a map to the very beginning. Bosses appear out of nowhere with no warning, you can't collect items in certain areas, and the sign posts all point you in the wrong direction

The story starts with some bloke Richard screaming at a bloke for doing the dirt with his missus, and then the scene goes black and I'm pretty sure they end up having sex. You play in the year 17XX, and end up in some blokes mansion who created amazing tools like lighters (These tools were all very "powerfull"). This lad was like no other though, he was Vladmirson, yes, you'd be correct, the same Vladmirson who defeated the ferocious Dark Evil Black Dragon of Doom and was doing the dirt on Richard's missus.

It says he's dead now, so I'm pretty sure Richard killed him. You choose either a swordsman or a ninja to play with. The ninja anyway ends up bumping into the mansion with his nose and he ends up going into it to get the fabled "Legendary Endless Potato Chips Pack", yes, you did read that correctly.

Your character ends up fighting the other party and you fight or something?

So anyway after the star wars prelude is done you end up getting a quick tutorial of some buttons, after doing that you end up talking to a map sales man because you need a ♥♥♥♥♥. Anyway, play it yourself or watch my video above to get a few more details. You will be disappointed.

♥♥♥♥. Worse than MS paint. Recycled assets all throughout the game.

You choose English [American Flag], you end up hearing broken English and Brazilian with subtitles.

I'm pretty sure this is an elaborate troll so I'm going to recommend it since you can buy it online for about 19 cent, its definitely worth the 20 minutes of WTF I got from it.

I'm actually enjoying playing this game, its not as simplistic as it looks with the controls and difficulty being hard enough to grasp at first but when you score a belter into the top corner you know its feels so much more valuable than the goal you could have scored in FIFA. While I do have my gripes with the game, I feel its customisable enough for me to have my own gamestyle and way to play rather than being pigeonholed into one playstyle.

Here is a video of me playing it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxHwZijfHD4

And another video of pure gameplay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ8K1npjCkM

At this price I'd recommend it, €2.99 for an alternative football game which is tough and retro is a bargain.

What is Otem's Defiance?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkMsfeW8K2g
Subscribe to my channel for similar videos!

Background
So for a little background on Otem's Defiance, the game is an on rails 3d platformer of sorts. You play as Otem, a child who has been chosen as a sacrifice to the gods of his tribe. You disobey your tribe's orders to be a sacrifice and fight around the ring-shaped arena. In this arena totem-like objects attack you from the centre, with an array of attacks, ranging from fire, to magic, to ice, and a whole load of other crap. You fight back against the totems by getting bolts which lay around in sections of the circle. You attack the circular parts behind the face of the totem to destroy it.

Gameplay Design
The game is designed similarly to that of a 3d platformer, with good graphics if a little basic, and cool designs, with definitely a comic book-esque feel to it, which I think going by the story of the game, the designers were looking to do. The controls are tight, and you learn more moves the longer you play, which make certain things easier, like for example the user of the double jump. All of these controls feel natural, and while certain powerups at times make the game harder to play, they add something different to the game.

Artistic Design
I must say I really appreciate the hard work which has gone into the design of the game, the comic books and the in between levels looks fantastic, and the art style is incredibly impressive, which at times made me wish the gameplay jusst had a little bit more. The actual art in game lacks a little, with it being a bit bland at times, but the character and totem's all look well polished even if other areas of the game don't.

General Gameplay:
The game starts off quite easily, but adds more and more totems making it more and more difficult, with different levels and areas adding new tiers of difficulty, with each area having it's own boss which you have to defeat before you move onto the next section.

Overview
What I don't like about the game is though, it does feel like it just lacks something for a PC game, its quite repetitive and can feel like a bit of a chore, but its also challenging enough to make you not seem as if you're just going through the motions.

I could definitely recommend this on a mobile device as its controls would work great on it, and on a PC as a platformer it would also be a decent purchase. I think the developers have definitely created something here which is aesthetically pleasing and different, yet still somewhat familiar.

I was really excited to play Tennis Elbow, I loved all Virtua Tennis games and enjoy watching Tennis too. I knew from the videos the game looked bad, and I know not to be shallow when looking at games, but the fact that its poorly optimised, and still doesn't allow me to play it at 1080p without it crashing just isn't good enough. I tried to play the game 3 times and it crashed each time when I changed the visual settings of the game. I have a 280x so it should work okay with the graphics for this game.

After finally accepting my fate at 480p, I got into playing it, its okay, the menus are clunky and ugly, it takes to long to start a career, the sounds are awful, and the gameplay boring and repetitive against the computer. Sadly after wanting this game for so long and finally getting it when it was 45% off, I decided I would refund the game as I was so disappointed in what I had purchased. I hope the dev continues to develop the game and make it better, but I rather play an older ps2/wii game than this.

Find my quick review on the game here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhdAVHuvIxI

This is probably the worst game I've ever played, if you can even call it a game. The only redeeming quality it has is that its incredibly short. I had almost played it twice, fully through and I still had to let the program run in the background so I could review it. All in all, the whole game is below, don't waste your time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvO_c05yFSc

What is Unbox?
https://youtu.be/LdmNT1Y9HOA
Unbox is a throwback to 90s platformers with obvious inspiration being taken from games such as Glover, Conker and Banjo and Kazooie on the Nintendo 64.

You play as Newbie, a box. I take it you understand the title of the game now.

Newbie was created by the Global Postal Service, GPS for short, with the sole aim of saving the floundering company. Newbie was created not only is a sentient box, but also a self-delivering box, which would not only save the company money, but save it from bankruptcy.

Controls:
Well, you're a box, you move how a box would, turning is delicate, the controls can be quite jagged and can be at times, tough to control. I found that when I was moving faster I was definitely struggling more, but if you pace your movement and try to aim your jumps and movement it becomes more fluid.

There are a number of moves which Newbie has in his arsenal including slam, unbox, and jump.

While movement is tough at the start, it gets easier the more you play it, don't let the initial frustration throw you and spoil the experience for you.

Soundtrack:
The game sounds like Banjo and Kazooie, the NPCs all respond with similar meeps and merps, as well as having similar interactions with the player. These small details help the player to embrace the world and the retro vision the developers had. Either that or they were too cheap to pay for voice actors, or they weren't sure what a box would sound like.

The soundtrack is alright, a bit repetitive at times, but it fits each world well. If you're a collection enthusiast it could definitely grate on you, and considering the game is somewhat of a collectathon I could definitely see that happening to some players.

In Conclusion:
Unbox is a very fun game which is suitable for a lot of people, of many ages, it has an expansive and colorful environment and quality gameplay to boot, while being not too difficult, it's also not too easy and definitely has replay value. Would I recommend it? Definitely.

A very well optimised and fun game to play, have a look at the gameplay. You use right analog to shoot by the way, it took me longer than expected to find that out even after doing the tutorials.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIIr2-wuoXs

What is Metris Soccer?
Metris Soccer clearly takes inspiration from the Fifa Street games, including skills like the Tornado Twist, Zidane Spin, Rabona Exit and Hop Nutmeg in an assortment of skills a user can choose from. The idea behind the game is to "Take to the streets and play in locations all over the world, as you try to become the best. Score amazing goals, pull off epic tricks, and taunt with style as you embarrass your opponents."

Here is a video of my gameplay and what you can expect to see from the game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACzxEFxHMlk

In Summary:
Would I recommend you purchase this game in its current state? No. Its an interesting concept, performed poorly, I would keep an eye on it though and potentially suggest it in future.