Ok you guys just listen to what i have to say. I am really confused ok so a while ago I was masturbating with an egg and I was just about to organism when all of a sudden my vag just like sucked it up. It was like a vacuum, and not just a regular vacuum it was like a hoover or a dyson. You know, the ones where the guy talks about the vacuum never losing suction? Yeah, my vag is a dyson.
Anyway, I was so scared and spent the rest of the night trying to queef out that egg but it wouldn't come out.
So the other day I was playing basketball in the gym and the egg fell out! Into my gitch! I was too afraid to take it out and people probably though I was growing a peen or something. So I didn't take it out of my underwear until I got home and the ***** was hardboiled. My vagina is a vacuum and a pot of boiling water. It hardboiled an egg! Im not done! So I put it in the fridge because I didn't know what else to do. A couple hours later, my dad was eating an egg salad sandwich!

Did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”3’ tall and 63 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human ♥♥♥♥, and with their impressive Base Stats you can be rough with one too. Due to their mostly water based biology there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Fun fact, if you pull out enough you can make your Vaporeon turn white! Vaporeon is literally built for humandick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take ♥♥♥♥ all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

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