Doug is the true hero of the town. Not that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, wife-whoring, nar-suh-cys-tick, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of an emu. I want to crush that bastard’s skull so that he cannot infect anyone else with his vile emu ways. I want to shove an knitting needle down his urethra, rip it out, and reinsert it until it falls off, and i feed him his desiccated ♥♥♥♥. I will disembowel him, and feed his organs to his children. This emu is a pox on our world. And we must cure this pox before our children are infected.

You want a man who got where he was on his own merit? A man who upholds the law? A man with years of experience in protecting the citizens of his town? A man who informs the populace of the lovely services of liberty mutual car insurance. Doug. Doug is the name of this man. For years, he has worked day in, day out, to keep the city free of crime. He will not REST until every single criminal is done for. He, with aplomb, stops crime in its tracks while making cure the denizens of the city only pay for what they need. When he gets home, he greets his wife with a kiss on the lips. When he gets home, he helps his children with their homework, nurturing them to become functional adults. When he gets home, he invites his neighbor in for dinner as compliment for a job well done. It doesn’t matter what job, Doug always knows its been done well.

I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate limu emu so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much. I am sick and tired of his ♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded theme song. I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate the total absurdity of an emu as a cop. How the ♥♥♥♥ does an emu become a cop anyways? I know how. Limu emu WHORED OUT HIS WIFE to the chief of police. Not on any actual merit of his own. No skill, no dedication, no hard work. He just lets his ♥♥♥♥♥ WIFE get ♥♥♥♥ by the chief of police. And guess what? He’s a police officer. He probably comes home everyday and brags to his poor neighbor about his job. He then comes inside, pays no attention to his kids, and sits on his fat emu ass with a pack of cheap beer. His wife (a total karen, mind you) just sits there, playing ♥♥♥♥ buddy with the chief of police while her children starve.

Ok, in my opinion, the “George W Bush right on her ♥♥♥♥♥” line in the song Take a Step Back by Ski Mask ft. XXXTentacion is the most fire line of the year. Before you doubt me, hear me out. This ♥♥♥♥ not a double entendre. It’s a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ triple entendre. It could mean he’s gonna hit that girl’s ♥♥♥♥♥ like the planes hit the twin towers on 9/11, which has been rumored to be organized by George W Bush. Bush was also known to have lots of female companions, so that could be a meaning. It also could simply be referring to a hairy ♥♥♥♥♥, the “bush” on the vagina.

you fool. you absolute buffoon. you think you can challenge me in my own realm? you think you can rebel against my authority? you dare come into my house and upturn my dining chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? you thought you were safe in your chain mail armor behind that screen of yours. I will take these laminate wood floor boards and destroy you. I didn’t want war. but i didn’t start it

It’s beginning to look a lot like Krillmas
Everywhere you go
Take a look at the krillion ten
It’s krilling once again
With tiny krills and massive whales below
It’s beginning to look a lot like Krillmas
Krills in every store
But the prettiest sight to see is the krill that will be
On your own front door