What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

From r/RecruitCS, currently playing with one other friend in S3/S4 trying to get back up the ranks as well. MG1 (or maybe 2?) about a year back.

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../ . . . . . . . .'/ . . . . . . .'| Give This ♥♥♥♥ To Everyone
./ . . . . . . . . / . . . . . . .'| You Care About ♥
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What the ♥♥♥♥ did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little ♥♥♥♥♥? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my rank in match making, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on bomb site A, and I have over 300 confirmed kills on my stat-trak negev. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top awper in the entire NA scene.

ME > 8=====D~~~~~ O: < YOU

weed