You know what? Sometimes I wonder who looked at a pastry and decided "What if it is huge?". Then they slap it all in a tray and toss it in the oven to make a face-sized pastry. And now we're blessed with one of the best food known to mankind.

I once decided to make a pie myself. All went well until whatever is in my oven decided it is time to detonate. It took me literal weeks to clean up that damn oven. Now I know why there's random holes on your usual pie crust. It's just so that food product don't get a mind on it's own and go all Bin Laden in the god forsakened oven. Potato chunks everywhere. E V E R Y W H E R E.

But I digress. You know how there's the saying that the Police love doughnuts? Well, Feds on the other hand love pies instead. Don't believe me? Talk to the people in that van with the weird radar thingy ontop of it. They should be sitting right next to your lawn, and you can probably see them through your window right now. What are they doing? Tracking your searches. They're trying to help the people, I'm sure of it. Don't worry much about it tho. They'll never find your "totally homework" folder you've been hiding behind a maze of folders that you are oh-so-smart to hide them in such a way. They're just there for... research. I think.

I'm going off topic. Damn me. Well... back to pies. I don't care who you are, or what you are. If you decided to go for that blueberry pie instead of the almighty chicken pot pie, you're automatically banned from being my friend. Only a lowly subhuman trash would indulge in the worst application of a damn pastry ever. What's that? Sweet pies? LMAO. Get that beta crap off me. Real people eat savoury pies. Doesnt matter if it's vegan or not. If you dare to ever serve me a plate of your stupid fruit pies, I will buttclap you in the name of JeSUS himself. You have been warned.

P.s. : 3.141592653589793238