Mord Fustang's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 8:33pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:57am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:55am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:55am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 8:46pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 10:00pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:55am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 30 Jun, 2014 @ 2:58am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:51pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:51pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:56am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:50pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:51pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:57am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 8:53pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:52pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:50pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:55am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:53pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:55am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2014 @ 3:02am

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:57am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:56am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:50pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:55am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:57am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:50pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 8:53pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 10:05pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:57am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:50pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:50pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:51pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:57am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:57am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:56am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:53pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:50pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:57am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:52pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:57am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:56am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2014 @ 9:51pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 7 May, 2014 @ 4:55am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 19 May, 2014 @ 2:29am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2015 @ 7:26pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

120 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30