I sexually Identify as a mop. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the wooden floors dropping hot floor cleaner on disgusting surfaces. People say to me that a person being a mop is Impossible and I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a wooden stick and a mop top on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “moptop” and respect my right to clean and sanitize needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a mopiphobe and need to check your cleaning supply privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.