moo™
Sweden
The details of my life are quite inconsequential, my father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I suggest you try it.
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The details of my life are quite inconsequential, my father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I suggest you try it.
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Review Showcase
Signal Simulator
41 Hours played
130 signals in. Haven't found a single alien, apart from the one I found in the train tracks and pickled in a giant lava lamp the day I first bought the game. Signal detecting can be addictive at first.

Nothing interesting happened for hours. SpaceX landed in my front yard at one point and Elon hasn't been back to pick it up. There are a handful of things you need to get to grips with in the game but they're really easy to learn and master. A few interesting nods and easter eggs here and there.

Nothing happened for a further 25 hours, I have most the upgrades near maxed out, at this point I'm pretty fed up and signal types and sounds are starting to repeat themselves. Do I need to sink another 50 hours into this game? It now feels like a job. I transmitted "Please come and anal probe me" and "I have your friend hostage" to the aliens, they are yet to respond.

I like this game, but I can't recommend spending the better half of 30 hours only to get several cryptic messages, no UFO's, nothing.

I would want to leave a neutral review, I recommend this game at a very low price, try it. It's interesting. I don't regret my purchase though, I am just critical of how agonizingly slow the game is. Maybe I will find a UFO in a years time if keep playing? Who knows.
Comments
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svallin 20 Oct, 2024 @ 11:16am 
mu
BDK 29 Oct, 2009 @ 8:17am 
^_^