Mr Dickens' Cider » Games » Genital Jousting Stats

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11 of 28 (39%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 7 Jul, 2018 @ 3:22am

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 7 Jul, 2018 @ 3:22am

Summer Job

Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Unlocked 7 Jul, 2018 @ 3:57am

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked 7 Jul, 2018 @ 3:28am

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked 7 Jul, 2018 @ 4:15am

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked 7 Jul, 2018 @ 4:16am

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.
Unlocked 7 Jul, 2018 @ 4:05am

Appalling Appetite

You should see a doctor immediately.
Unlocked 7 Jul, 2018 @ 4:06am

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Unlocked 7 Jul, 2018 @ 4:30am

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Unlocked 1 Sep, 2019 @ 6:08am

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Unlocked 1 Sep, 2019 @ 6:16am



Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

Early Bird

Swallow every worm.

Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
+2

2 hidden achievements remaining

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