Recent reviews by Miqwerty

They're gender goals
They're relationship goals
but most importantly...

They're just like me, fr fr

As someone who has several rouge-likes and third person shooters on their list of favorite games, Crab Champions is phenomenal at capturing what I love about both genres. The movement system is so inherently dynamic, snappy, and just fun to mess around with that it makes you want to master it and play stylishly. Even in early access it's well worth the price, especially if you can get some friends to join you. If I were to add anything it would probably be some options for competitive and PvP play, ability to slide in more than 2 directions, and maybe a wall jump.

Honestly tied with Celeste for one of my favorite platformers of all time and the fact that I can confidently compare this game to Celeste is both hilarious and beautiful in a way.

It knows what it wants to do and it does it really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ well even with the many shake-ups to the formula it provides. A game that truly makes you feel like an Italian.

Perhaps this game was a bit too high concept for some of you out there so I'll break it down for you more simple lot. Ultimately the game is a struggle betwixt artificial technology and archaic magic, a conflict as old as the advancement of society itself. But those of the land of Puyo and Tetris see no need to come in to conflict for they are ends to the same mean, change. And with this change comes the furthering of civilization and even ourselves, our humanity. Why did they make the green block kind of hot? From this cooperation of means each can find a way to expand their horizons. As Thomas Vato once said in his seminal work Questology "To manage complexity one needs to understand it to release oneself from the comfort zone or liberate the comfort zone from prejudice." (Vato). In summary release Puyo Puyo Box in the US cowards.

I spent nearly my entire day at work playing this and personally I blame Aphrodite. Seriously, can someone please tell the artist of this character to calm down? I'm trying to do my spreadsheets.

On one hand, I think that the way the game sort of falls into this unengaging repitition with unrewarding choices is a commentary on how the police force slowly becomes desensitized and are trained to see criminals and citizens in general as less than human. On the other hand, this is a THQ game so it might just kinda be like that. Either way, I sure hope that cops aren't real, they sound scary.

My lowest selling game was "Trapped with a Sexy Minotaur <3" for DOS and frankly that's just unrealistic.

This game is stressful as hell but that doesn't mean I've gained any sympathy for Pete Buttigieg.

This game reminds me of that time that I was trying to take my grandpa to his room in the nursing home but a bunch of the female nurses happened to be walking by and each one that passed my grandpa would either try to set me up with or aggressively flirt with and then would make some kind of racist or sexist joke when they inevitably had to leave to do their work. The only difference is that the nurses in that scenario were kind enough not to give me what I can only describe as Bejewelled mixed with doing my taxes every time I wanted to make polite conversation. Overall this game is everything I could ask for because I'm a straight dude and I don't actually pay my taxes.

Kyanna is the best character in the game, not even close.

The masks we wear, the facade we display to the public. Are we confined to the roles the world says we ought to play? This mask is equal parts liberating and restraining but perhaps breaking free of it is for the better. The game play overall is just a refined version of what was in the original but it's very effective as such, if it ain't broke don't fix it. The cast of characters is practically iconic at this point and the additional character in this entry doesn't feel forced and the extra game play at the end involving her character is phenomenal. Overall I find this entry to be the most fleshed out and definitive version of Peggle out there.