Meme Jesus » Games » POSTAL 2 Stats

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80 of 89 (90%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 1:39am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 1:48am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 9:48pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 4:05am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 4:12am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2023 @ 6:50pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 2:40am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 11:32pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 2:08am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked 10 May, 2022 @ 7:53am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked 10 May, 2022 @ 6:52pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 1:57am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 4:19am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Unlocked 12 May, 2022 @ 8:20pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 12:44am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 12:51am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Unlocked 11 Feb, 2023 @ 12:39pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 2:00am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 1:20am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 10:56pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 1:57am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 4:15am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 5:18pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 11:24pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 4:13am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 1:34am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 12:02am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 11:54pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 3:41am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 1:23am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked 10 May, 2022 @ 12:36am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 2:00am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Unlocked 9 Feb, 2023 @ 3:26am

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Unlocked 9 Feb, 2023 @ 3:26am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Unlocked 12 Feb, 2023 @ 1:33pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unlocked 7 Feb, 2023 @ 10:49am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 11:13pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked 10 May, 2022 @ 7:41am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked 10 May, 2022 @ 12:10am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 11:51pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 1:34am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 5:50pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Unlocked 10 May, 2022 @ 12:34am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Unlocked 10 May, 2022 @ 7:54am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 2:18am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 3:22am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 1:26am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 2:04am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked 10 May, 2022 @ 12:39am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 3:23am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 1:45am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2023 @ 4:27pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 3:31am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked 10 May, 2022 @ 6:35pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Unlocked 9 May, 2022 @ 5:56pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2023 @ 2:23pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Unlocked 11 Feb, 2023 @ 12:41pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Unlocked 10 May, 2022 @ 4:34pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 3:31am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Unlocked 12 Feb, 2023 @ 7:05pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Unlocked 8 May, 2022 @ 10:30pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 4:22am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 5:13pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 6:16pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 11:04pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Unlocked 12 May, 2022 @ 5:46am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Unlocked 12 May, 2022 @ 8:38pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2023 @ 6:28am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Unlocked 12 Feb, 2023 @ 7:10pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2023 @ 12:35pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2023 @ 5:29pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 10:05pm

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Unlocked 14 Feb, 2023 @ 7:20pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
Unlocked 14 Feb, 2023 @ 6:31am

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Unlocked 12 May, 2022 @ 2:57am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Unlocked 12 May, 2022 @ 7:07pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Unlocked 11 May, 2022 @ 10:09pm

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Unlocked 12 May, 2022 @ 4:10pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Unlocked 13 Feb, 2023 @ 5:49am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2023 @ 2:51pm



Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
+2

2 hidden achievements remaining

Details for each achievement will be revealed once unlocked