melancholy's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 3:23pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 6:20pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 2:50pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 13 Sep, 2021 @ 4:44pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 3:17pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 3:29pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 5:36pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 6:49pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 12:26am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 10:55am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 12:28pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2018 @ 11:44am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2021 @ 12:27pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2019 @ 12:36pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2021 @ 8:49pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2021 @ 9:46pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2021 @ 4:53pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 11:36am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2021 @ 8:48pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2019 @ 12:39pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2019 @ 12:01pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2021 @ 9:48pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2018 @ 11:44am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2019 @ 12:36pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 23 Oct, 2019 @ 12:01pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 11:45am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 12:03pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 18 Jan, 2023 @ 9:39pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 12:00am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2018 @ 11:44am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 12:33pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 2:59pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 2:51pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 12:25am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 21 Jun, 2018 @ 1:44pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2019 @ 1:01pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2021 @ 4:35pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2021 @ 9:43pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 5:33pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 4:25pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2021 @ 8:53pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 3:06pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 5:53pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 3:28pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2018 @ 4:34pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 21 Jun, 2018 @ 1:47pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2021 @ 1:38pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 13 Sep, 2021 @ 4:09pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 13 Sep, 2021 @ 4:08pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2021 @ 3:09pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 2:41pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2021 @ 12:43pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 24 Jul, 2018 @ 11:44am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2021 @ 12:04pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2021 @ 1:05pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 18 Jan, 2023 @ 7:01pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 18 Jan, 2023 @ 8:18pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 18 Jan, 2023 @ 10:13pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2021 @ 11:37am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2021 @ 11:57am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2021 @ 1:32pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 18 Sep, 2021 @ 1:22pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 18 Jan, 2023 @ 9:34pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2018 @ 3:20pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2018 @ 12:12am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

17 / 30