A gamer is an ascended being that is the product of millions of years of fine-tuned evolution leading to a specimen that is neither human nor God: the perfect balance between man and monster. A gamer is the apotheosis of evolution. I am a gamer.

If you cut me, I'd bleed G fuel. But you'll never cut me. My reflexes are too strong thanks to gaming.

I could hold a live grenade in my hand and feel nothing when it explodes thanks to all of my gaming calluses making my skin harder than a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ turtle shell. What is the most used muscle in a gamer's body? The mind. Over 10 billion synaptic neuroscooters all firing at the same time every second, kept healthy through the complex carbohydrates of Doritos

A gamer's senses are three times as strong as an average h