Muchina's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 1:00am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 12:49am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 2:15am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 10:51pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 12:47am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 1:36am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 1:51am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 11:27pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 1:33am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 2:55am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 3:59pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 6:14pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2017 @ 10:11pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 5:14pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2017 @ 4:36am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 5:56pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 25 Feb @ 10:35pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 24 Feb @ 5:36am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2017 @ 9:30pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 10:27pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2017 @ 10:56pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 4:27pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 10 Jul, 2017 @ 12:04am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 10:33pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 1:43am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 4:02pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 11:53pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 2:11am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 5:33pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 10:37pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 10:24pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 1:20am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 1:43am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 24 Feb @ 1:43am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 3:21pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2017 @ 11:51pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 1:14am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 1:40am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 12:45am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 1:03am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 10:20pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 1:40am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 11:05pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 12:39am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 12:12am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 6 Jul, 2017 @ 4:45am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 27 May, 2016 @ 12:32am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 24 Feb @ 4:34am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 25 Feb @ 11:29pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 6:15pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 7:27pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 5:50pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 7:52pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2017 @ 11:42pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 4 Aug, 2017 @ 1:43am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 31 Jul, 2017 @ 2:08am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 26 May, 2016 @ 2:10am

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2017 @ 2:20am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 7:20pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 29 May, 2016 @ 7:46pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 4 Aug, 2017 @ 1:03am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 3 Aug, 2017 @ 11:24pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 8:07pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 21 Jul, 2017 @ 11:23pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

3 / 30

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

3 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

11 / 30