Hello fellow gamers. In the creators.tf discord server I was tasked to calculate the cost of producing an Australium Minigun irl, with Gold as Australium.

The calculations for that are as follows:

The GE M134 Minigun, being one of the most popular miniguns irl, is worth 215000 Dollars.

The Australium Minigun has the Barrels and the Drum replaced by Australium.
The Barrels of the GE M134 are 55.5 cm long, and about 10 cm in diameter, about half of the Barrel cylinder is steel, making it 1600 cm³ of metal.
Replacing that entirely with Australium (Gold in this calculation), makes the Barrels weigh 30851.2 grams. In Gold price, this is 1704806.46 dollars for the Barrels, making it 1919806.46 dollars for the GE M134 with the Barrels replaced by Australium (Gold).

The Drum is still made of the normal metal (most likely steel), however the frame is made out of Australium (Gold), for our calculations we say it's an empty cylinder, about 20 cm in height, 20 cm in radius, and a 1 cm thick plate. Thuse, we have 2 circles of 20 cm radius, and one rectangle of about 64 cm x 20 cm, and those plates are 1 cm thick.
The circles are 1250 cm³ of Australium (Gold) each, the rectangle is 1300 cm³, making it an additional 3800 cm³ of Australium (Gold), adding another 73271.60 grams or 4051902,62 dollars in Gold prices.

This concludes the price of an IRL Australium Minigun based on the price of Gold, making it a total of nearly exactly 6 million dollars.



Then someone asked me to do the same thing, but with a Poop Minigun as a concept. Thus, I present you, the cost of producing the Poop Minigun:

We take the GE M134 Minigun again, being priced at 215000 dollars, and replace the Barrels and the frame of the Minigun with Poop, with one catch: We need to compress the Poop enough to make it the same density as the one of Gold, so Heavy doesn't get confused by the sudden drop of the weight of the Minigun.


The density of Gold is 19.32 grams per cm³, the one of Poop is 1.06 grams per cm³ according to the US National Bureau of Standards, meaning we have to compress it by a factor of 18,226415094, or, to make it easier, a factor of 18.


We need 2 machines for compressing Poop, one being the Compressor from the Ex Compressum add-on for the Ex Nihilo mod for Minecraft, most often used in Skyblock modpacks or Stoneblock, the other being the slapping machine Vasiliy Khamotiskiy.


The average human produces 145 kilograms of Poop per year, and according to this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ article (https://time.com/3689384/you-can-sell-your-poop-for-13000-a-year/) , one year of Poop is worth 13000 dollars, making it about 89 dollars per kilogram of Poop. The weight of the Gold used in the Australium Minigun is 104.3 kg, meaning we need actually less than a year worth of Poop for the Poop medigun, we actually only need 9287.20 dollars worth of Poop.


Now, first need to build the Compressor, crafted by 4 Crafting Tables, 4 Iron Ingots and 1 Iron Block. 1 Crafting Table is made of 1 cubic meter of wood, the average cost for 1 m³ of oak wood is 1200 bux, so 4800 dollars for the 4 Crafting Tables. We need 1.444 m³ of Iron in total, with a density of 7.874 grams per cm³, making it 11.37 tons of Iron, being worth 16145.40 dollars worth of Iron. Thus, we conclude that the Compressor used for compressing the Poop is worth 20945.40 dollars for an infinte amount of Poop Miniguns, however, I have to say that it's rather slow at compressing, so having multiple of those Compressors is a worthy investment.


Putting the poop in the Compressor from Ex Compressum, we have 104.3 kilograms of ninefold compressed Poop being worth 9287.20 dollars, problem is we still need to compress it with another way of compressing, as the Compressor from Ex Compressum only increases density ninefold, meaning we now have 10800 cm³ of Poop.


To compress it again to double the density, we use a good slap from god slapper Vasiliy Khamotiskiy, being the ultimate beast in Russian slapping contests. Taking the amounts of slap per minute in this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5DhR1G6BJI) , it took nearly exactly 5 minutes for each contestant to slap five times, meaning the average slap takes 1 minute to recharge. The amount of money made in those 5 minutes was 1000 dollars each, making it a 12000 dollars/hour job. The object Vasiliy slapped was the size of his opponent's head, which we will take as the average volume of Poop Vasilyi can slap per slap. The average head's volume is 3 liters, but Zuluzinho being a rather large man, I estimate his head to be of about 4 liters in volume, meaning Vasiliy can slap 4 liters of Poop per minute, at a cost of 12000 dollars per hour. 10800 cm³ of Poop is 10.8 liters, meaning it takes about 2.7 minutes to compress enough Poop for one Poop Minigun, costing us 540 dollars of Vasiliy's time.


Altogether, it costs 215000 Dollars for the GE M134 to modify, 20945.40 Dollars to craft the Compressor for the ninefold Compression, 540 Dollars to compress the Poop again for a total of factoring the density by 18, and 9287.20 Dollars worth of Poop, making it 245772,60 Dollars for one Poop Minigun.

The Costs of operating a Poop Minigun


The Poop Minigun, being just a cosmeticly customized version of the normal Minigun, the rate of fire remains at 4 rounds every 0.1 seconds, but instead of lead Bullets, the Poop Minigun fires Poop Bullets, however the Rest of the Cartridge (the Housing, the Powder, etc.) remains unchanged.

Heavy said that it costs 400000 Dollars to fire his gun for 12 seconds, meaning the 480 Bullets fired in those 12 seconds are worth 400000 Dollars, meaning every Bullet is at about 833.333 Dollars.

The most expensive single Bullet that is purchasable is the .700 Nitro Express, at 120 Dollars per Bullet, making the normal Minigun's Bullet about 7 times as expensive, the Bullets have custom tooled Cartriges, as Heavy expressed in his Meet the Team video, making the Casing the most expensive Part.

The Minigun weighs 150 Kilograms according to Heavy, meaning with the average unloaded Minigun weighing about 39 Kilograms, the Ammunition in the fully loaded Minigun weighs 111 Kilograms, with 200 Rounds at 4 Bullets each, it makes it 111 Kilograms for 800 Bullets, or 138 Grams for one Bullet.
The .700 Nitro Express weighs 190 Grams, with the Bullet weighing 64.8 Grams. As that Bullet is the most important part, we only turn that into Poop, having the rest (Casing, as it already is custom, Powder, unless someone finds a way to make Poop powder explode, etc.) unchanged. We can also conclude that the most expensive Part of Heavy's custom Bullets is that the Casing is weighing way less, making Heavy be able to carry more Ammo.

The Bullet is made of Lead, priced at 1.63 Dollars per Kilogram, or 10.5 Cents per Bullet, while making the 64.8 Grams Bullet made out of Poop, priced at 89 Dollars per Kilogram, already calculated in the construction of the Poop Minigun, making it 5.77 Dollars per Poop Bullet, meaning each Bullet costs 5.655 Dollars more.

Thus, calculating that each Bullet costs 5.655 Dollars more, the Poop Bullet costs 838.988 Dollars.

It costs 402714.24 Dollars to fire Poop Minigun for 12 Seconds.