Recent reviews by martyTF

Helltaker is if you take a 2011 flash game, polish it with massive horny grease, put a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bop of a soundtrack behind it and tell gamers to collect hell waifus. It's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 10/10 easy. Kudos to the music maker, absolutely funky.

The Dark Souls of 2D pixel-graphics sandbox survival games.

The Dark Souls of tower defense base builders.

The Dark Souls of high-fantasy, deep lore, story-rich RPGs.

The Dark Souls of automation-focused base builders.

Y'know Artifact, right?
The game, set in the DOTA universe, but is a different genre, and it flopped massively?
Guess what. They did it again.
But this time, it's actually worth spending time ingame, as it already is quite a nice game in open beta.
In a lot of reviews I saw that the game is very RNG-heavy, but imho, it actually isn't. It's way more important to have an overview of the game, and a strategy, but you mustn't cling to it, bcs if the situation so desires, you gotta scrap everything and pull out a new strategy, and that is the strenght of the game, and seperates the good player from the bad player, who thinks it's all RNG.
Of course there were and still are some overpowered (Mask of Madness and warlock bonus with a Slark is just OP) and underpowered factions/heroes/items, but I think in a few weeks it will all be balanced out.
Also so far there is no way to spend money ingame, but this will change, and I hope not in the bad way EA did with BF2.
So yeah, quite nice playing a game or two per day, easy to learn, hard to understand and even harder to master, 7/10 so far.

So I somehow can't write a review for the expansion pass, so here we go instead.
Disclaimer: I liked the base game, not as good as JC3, but way better design, the cars feel way better and it runs way smoother.
Saying it's Rico's hardest challenge so far is true cause the AI is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid that you just commit suicide because the supidity of the enemies makes you depressed. Weapons are really bad except the cow gun, the wingsuit is a sad memory of the greatness that it was in JC3, but in JC4 it flies like a piece of paper in a tornado, you literally got no control and if you get a little scratch you instadie, but getting hit in the face with a nade is something he just brushes off.
Generally, liked the map and loved driving around in it, so yeah, everything good except, welp, the game. 6/10 for the base game.
However.... the expansion pass part 1/3:

So yeah... hmmm, where to start?

Normally when talking about ♥♥♥♥ you start with food, which is great.

Thing is, even the very very most besterest parts of the first DLC were complete and utter ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Nah, not ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, cause that would insult the metabolism of bulls.

I LOVED Just Cause 3, and enjoyed every single minute of the base game and even more the content of the DLCs, cause, y'know, the "C" in DLC actually meant content.
I really liked Just Cause 4, enjoyed Solis and the new mechanics, and surprisingly it was way smoother than Just Cause 3, so I always was like "eh, it's better, more stable and smooth and everything"
Now, more than 5 months later, with the first DLC coming out, I was like "Ah yeah, the DLCs of JC3 were great, am hyped for this", and after I played THE ENTIRE CONTENT of the first DLC in 3 hours (♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 180 MINUTES) and what did I get from it: boring and way too easy races, except it shouldn't be called race, cause you kinda can go with 60 km/h and still s-rank it, just to get stupid-ass cars which you won't use anyway cause literally the only vehicle that's good to fight with is the Loochador, WHICH IS IN ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ JC3 CAUSE THERE IS NOTHING (0, Zero, Nada, less than the number of my braincells) worth using in the weaponized vehicle themed DLC of JC4.
I was like "yeah the base game is worth it's 60 bucks, and the DLCs were "only" 40 bucks with the gold edition, most likely didn't waste my money"
AHAHAHAHHA what a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ moron I was.
Base game, tbh, still is 40-50 bucks worth, but this first DLC had no content and is even worse than Triss' alternative look DLC, which was free and the ugliest ♥♥♥♥ after Quasimodo.
Welp, rant end, it's 4:20 am and I'mma sleep.
Enraged.
Furious.
Not fast, cause the cars definitely ain't fast, they're only ♥♥♥♥. (-1/10)


yo just forgot to update my review.
the demon thingy was hilarious, cs they be like: ok so it's already ♥♥♥♥ to hit drones, so make a dlc all about hitting things even tinier and faster than drones. 3/10

and the last dlc is so grindy and destroyed my dreams of 100% achievement-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. like srsly, some of them are so specific you'd be there doing the same thing for hours just to maybe get the chance that the enemies align just right for you to get the achievememnt. 2/10


my disappointment is immeasurable and just cause is ruined.



yeet mah

edit:
it's nice to just grab a car and drive around, the radio stations are neat. the monthly challenges are neat, some of them rather uninspired, but some are quite unique. this is not a game about completing a badass story and destroy a big corrupt government or company, it's a game about driving around at 300 km/h into trains, parachuting out of the car, grabbing a new car, repeat. enjoyable to just chill down for 30 minutes, but everything before 100% completion is stupid. After finishing the game, it gets enjoyable.
I'd recommend adding an option to turn of npcs, so the abyssmal dodging ai that the npcs have don't get in ur way when speeding around with 350 km/h, dodging every car perfectly but then one car decides to also dodge you and thus gets in your way, ruining a 5 minute dopamine ride. tl;dr: as the postgame is the best game, let us get more control over it, e.g. turning off npcs.

Just Cause 3 is one of the few games that I was very hyped about to play once I finished building my finally gaming-capable PC. I watched thorugh one Let's Play (Gronkh ftw) and cool stunt and challenge videos (Nerd³) and those made me buy this game without even having a machine capable of running it for more than half a year coming. The gameplay looked solid, the graphics beautiful and Medici as a whole looked fantastic.
Finally being able to play it and going through the story, I found myselft totally not disappointed. The game had everything I was hoping for, with minor exceptions.
One of these exceptions was the battle against the General, and it was more than just sad. Shoot a helicopter with 5 rockets and tadaa, you did it. For someone rushing through the game that might have been difficult, but as I tried everything with the behaviour of the enemies, the physics of the game, and so on, the boss fight was something I did before without anyone telling me what to do. Also, after defeating him nothing changes. There are still DRM-guys shooting at you, the people are still like: "Hopefully he kills de Ravello or sumfin." and it is just silly that post boss fight is exactly like pre boss fight. Except there are no more story missions.
Another thing that made this "everything is possible"-game into a shooter, was the pure OP-being of the rocket launchers and the fact that you had to be a master with the tethers to actually accomplish something when everyone and everything was shooting at you. It was either 3 well placed tethers or a floppy shot rocket somewhere in a general direction.
But, following videos of Just Cause 4, the tethering will have a great impactful change, and maybe they will be a solid alternative to massive destruction machines like an RPG.
The small side missions (rebel breakout, make it look like an accident) were wellplaced within the story-game, but after defeating di Ravello it just was completely stupid. "Here, someone bringing information to di Ravello, even though everyone knows he is dead. Kill that guy." Like, wtf.
Also it is kinda weird that you can shoot every singly civilian in a city and everyone is like: "yeeee, our herooooo"
The gameplay is a solid 10/10, the explosiveness of everything is exactly as it should be, totally absurdly over the top.
As realism is not a very big part of the game, you can maybe low key forget the fact that you can shoot friendly humans without any negative consequences and that post boss is like pre boss, but it still is kinda weird.
The best thing to do after finishing the game is driving around the world, hudless, some chillaxing music in the background, as this is better gameplay than some other games. 8/10

Tomb Raider is a flawed masterpiece. Big spoilers ahead.
That blonde scientist is evil.
The graphics, especially the landscape, is just great. Every region has its own theme, and really makes the game feel like this dystopian island that it just is.
The weapon and skill upgrade level is quite good and balanced, and it really shows that you progress with your character and arsenal, every upgrade unlocks something unique or upgrades it so it makes a heavy impact on the game.
The camera movement, both the normal of just walking around, and the scripted of the interactable cutscenes, is phenomenal. So phenomenal that it gets its own point.
Most of the cutscenes are good, there aren't too many, and there is no loading time between gameplay and cutscene. Fast travel loading time is also very short.

However, you can't really enjoy the beauty of the map, as the only really cool screenshot moments are when there is so much action that there is no time to screenshot. Walking around the island after finishing the game makes the island feel so "normal" that there are not many good screenshot scenes. Great graphics for gameplay, but not for remembering the island in screenshots.
There is nothing to complain about the weapons, except that the bow clips with everything.
The cutscenes have one problem: If they are all about showing the epicness of the island and architecture, they are way too short and unepic and a wasted opportunity. The emotional ones are just painful to watch and more cringy than sad. (The scene where Alex dies is just so bad.... I actually lauged...)
The movement is just floppy and in quite a few scenes you have to be pixel perfect to do a jump or something like that. There are a lot of moments when it would be so much easier to go one route that is blocked by alpha walls than taking the by the story scripted way. This turns from being a little bit nasty thing in the beginning to a really annoying thing at the end. The quicktime events are always so random that you might be able to react fast enough, if you knew it was a quicktime event, but you realise this after you get killed by that. I think I was killed in more quicktime events than in any other way.
The characters are a real problem. There are only 3 characters in the whole game I know the name of. Lara, Sam and Matthias. And I know how the fat guy looks because he is just so wholesome. All the other characters could have changed name and looks throughout the game and I wouldn't even have noticed. When it came to rescuing Alex I genuinly had no idea who the ♥♥♥♥ that was, I didn't even know whether he was a man or a woman. The only reason why I remember Lara, Sam and Matthias is because you heard their name every 10 minutes. This also makes these "sad" loss-moments so uninteresting, because you don't lose a character you are interested in. Maybe if Sam died her death would be interesting. But the only somewhat impactful death is Matthias'. And that bossfight is unepic af.
One biiiig problem is also that the game tries so damn hard to be open world, but sucks at it. The fast travel system is just a joke, you can get from the beginning camp to the last one, even though there are 8 things that completely block the path. you just shouldn't be able to continue after finishing the game and if you didn't get one relic, you have to continue from the savegame when you had the chance to. Being able to travel everywhere just takes any last good thing of the game and throws it away.
The only reason why I finished the game is because I always finish games. Except they suck so much that I just can't play them. This game however is "good enough" to play through. I'll look into Rise of the Tomb Raider, hoping that the characters are better and more remarkable, and maybe the controls are not as bad.
If you want me to talk about the story: The "story" is just a bunch of random small catastrophes trying to form somthing like a story, but it is just an excuse that there actually is no big real story. Story: Storm, shipwrecked, chasing Matthias and there always breaks something just before you get to him so the way is blocked and you have to take a 10 kilometers way around that, kill that 3 meter guy, kill Matthias by putting 20 bullets in his brain, because he is a super human, rescue Sam before the sun queen puts her soul in Sams body. The end. Such amaze.
3/10

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