Recent reviews by marke ™

**Counter-Strike 2 Review: A Masterpiece of Terrors, Tactics, and Terrorizing Teammates**

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to talk about *Counter-Strike 2*, the game that’s so good it’ll make you question your life choices, your sanity, and whether or not you’ve ever actually killed anyone in real life (hint: you probably haven’t, but don’t tell your mom).

**Graphics: 10/10**
They’ve taken the classic, pixelated beauty of *Counter-Strike 1.6*, sprinkled in a dash of modern technology, and somehow made terrorists look like they're not just running around in a weird fever dream. The environments are beautifully rendered, with every map designed to make you feel like you're trapped in a tiny, anxiety-inducing maze with teammates who refuse to follow simple directions.

**Gameplay: 9/10**
The gameplay is everything you love about *Counter-Strike*... except now it’s even more stressful. The learning curve is still the same: dive in thinking you’re going to be the next *shroud* only to discover that you’ve got the aim of a caffeinated pigeon. It’s fast-paced, it’s tactical, and it will absolutely make you cry when your teammate pushes B without smokes even though you told them 14 times not to. But hey, at least your enemies will be just as bad as you—hopefully.

**Teamwork: -100/10**
Ah, teamwork. That thing that’s supposed to make the dream work. But instead, it's the thing that makes you scream at your monitor like it’s a family member who forgot your birthday. You’ll experience the full range of human emotions when playing *Counter-Strike 2*: the joy of getting a clutch kill, followed immediately by the soul-crushing realization that your team is now wandering the map like a group of blindfolded raccoons. You might win a round, but you’re still left wondering how it happened.

**Sound: 11/10 (Too Real)**
The sound design in *Counter-Strike 2* is so good, you’ll hear footsteps from behind you even when you're alone in your bedroom at 3 a.m. The sound of a grenade bouncing off a wall will make you instantly question your life choices. And nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, is as terrifying as the sound of your own teammate screaming “BOMB IS DOWN, GUYS!” as you’re casually camping in a corner, waiting to get stabbed in the back by a flashbang.

**Community: 0/10**
*Counter-Strike 2* wouldn’t be complete without its wonderful, toxic community. You’ll make friends, sure—but they’ll most likely be the kind of friends who will call you "trash" after you miss an easy shot. The chat is a beautiful mix of insults, occasional teamwork (usually under duress), and the occasional person who thinks *Counter-Strike* is a good place to propose to their girlfriend. Spoiler alert: they probably won’t get a "yes."

**Overall: 9/10**
*Counter-Strike 2* is a wild roller coaster of emotions that you can’t help but hop back on, even though you know it’ll likely result in getting shot in the face by your own teammate... or just by someone 500 yards away that you never saw coming. It’s the kind of game where every victory feels like you’ve climbed Mount Everest, and every loss feels like you’ve been pushed off the side for not "holding A."

If you enjoy tactical shooters, watching people make terrible decisions, and yelling “I *told* you to watch mid,” then *Counter-Strike 2* is the game for you. See you on the battlefield, where we’ll both probably die to a wallbang in the first five minutes.

**Rating: 9/10** – Would yell at my teammates again.

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