Mannaedur>Shurik<'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2013 @ 8:59am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2013 @ 4:31am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 1:35pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 5:56am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2013 @ 9:01am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 30 Jul, 2014 @ 4:02pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 16 May, 2014 @ 12:05pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 11 Jul, 2014 @ 12:06pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 2:43pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2014 @ 10:33am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 2:10pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 31 Aug, 2016 @ 12:29am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 2:28pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 7:06am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 14 Jul, 2014 @ 10:26am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 5:52am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2014 @ 4:41pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2014 @ 6:58pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 16 May, 2014 @ 12:26pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 24 Jan, 2014 @ 8:26am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 2:25pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 28 Jul, 2014 @ 2:12pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 6:21am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2014 @ 8:19pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2016 @ 8:36am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 6:42am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2014 @ 7:23pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2014 @ 8:25pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 16 May, 2014 @ 12:14pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 16 Jul, 2014 @ 2:22pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 30 Jul, 2014 @ 3:27pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2014 @ 8:08pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 6:02am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 16 May, 2014 @ 11:59am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 May, 2014 @ 12:17pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2013 @ 9:00am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 16 May, 2014 @ 11:43am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 16 May, 2014 @ 12:53pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 16 May, 2014 @ 12:19pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 20 Jul, 2014 @ 4:32pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 6:06am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 7:09am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2016 @ 8:41am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 6:47am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 6:15am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 29 Jul, 2014 @ 7:48pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2013 @ 4:23am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2013 @ 12:07pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 31 Aug, 2016 @ 9:30am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 6:17am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 6:35am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2016 @ 6:24am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

15 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

4 / 10

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

14 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30