Malone86 » Games » POSTAL 2 Stats

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89 of 89 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked 14 Jul, 2015 @ 11:44pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked 14 Jul, 2015 @ 10:53pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked 14 Jul, 2015 @ 11:49pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unlocked 19 Jul, 2015 @ 12:50am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 12:11am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Unlocked 26 Jul, 2015 @ 11:30am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked 14 Jul, 2015 @ 10:51pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked 14 Jul, 2015 @ 11:33pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 9:01pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 10:40pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 5:40pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 10:01pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 9:15pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Unlocked 19 Jul, 2015 @ 12:29am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 11:06pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 11:42pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 5:25pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 9:21pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Unlocked 20 Jul, 2015 @ 9:13pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Unlocked 1 Nov, 2015 @ 4:12pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 11:07pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Unlocked 19 Jul, 2015 @ 6:43pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 8:21pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Unlocked 19 Jan, 2023 @ 4:23am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 10:29pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 11:06pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 10:20pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 10:30pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked 16 Jul, 2015 @ 9:51pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Unlocked 21 Jul, 2015 @ 12:27am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 19 Jul, 2015 @ 5:46pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 10:14pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 5:08pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
Unlocked 25 Jul, 2015 @ 3:39am

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Unlocked 25 Jul, 2015 @ 3:39am

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Unlocked 25 Jul, 2015 @ 3:49am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Unlocked 26 Jul, 2015 @ 3:32pm

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Unlocked 1 Nov, 2015 @ 6:40pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 10:21pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 9:48pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 10:35pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 4:58pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 11:47pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Unlocked 23 Jul, 2015 @ 1:09am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 10:26pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Unlocked 23 Jul, 2015 @ 12:31am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Unlocked 20 Jul, 2015 @ 11:43pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked 14 Jul, 2015 @ 7:12pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked 14 Jul, 2015 @ 10:57pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 10:30pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked 14 Jul, 2015 @ 11:53pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 11:42pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 11:40pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked 14 Jul, 2015 @ 10:58pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 11:07pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Unlocked 19 Jul, 2015 @ 6:02pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Unlocked 19 Jul, 2015 @ 6:52pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 5:21pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 12:12am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 11:00pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Unlocked 22 Jul, 2015 @ 10:47pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Unlocked 21 Jul, 2015 @ 12:42am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Unlocked 21 Jul, 2015 @ 1:27am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unlocked 15 Jul, 2015 @ 10:43pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Unlocked 19 Jul, 2015 @ 6:22pm

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
Unlocked 21 Jul, 2015 @ 12:23am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Unlocked 21 Jul, 2015 @ 12:06am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Unlocked 18 Jul, 2015 @ 9:17pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked 30 Oct, 2015 @ 6:56pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked 31 Oct, 2015 @ 3:14pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Unlocked 2 Nov, 2015 @ 7:16pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Unlocked 28 Nov, 2015 @ 11:26am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 2:11pm

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 2:54pm

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 3:04pm

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 2:54pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 6:32pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 6:09pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 7:01pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 3:49pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Unlocked 2 Nov, 2015 @ 6:36pm

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 5:50pm

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 4:54pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 5:03pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 11:42am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 11:05am

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Unlocked 29 Nov, 2015 @ 11:17am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Unlocked 1 Nov, 2015 @ 6:52pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Unlocked 10 Jul, 2016 @ 10:07pm