There comes a time in every man's life when he needs to look in the mirror and ask himself how exactly he got to that place. You have to truly reflect on the decisions you have made along the path that led you to the place of your final reckoning.

It's still not clear, even to me, why I bought those games. There's nothing wrong with it, with those nudity scenes it's perfectly stellar. But when you look at it as a choice, you realize how damaged I and the rest of humanity are.

What prompted me to buy games like those? What part of my soul felt so empty that I thought a virtual girl could fill it? When I look into the infinite depths of my own loneliness, I see a pool of reflection. My face is not there, there is no face. There are only tears in that puddle, tears of shame, loss and confusion.

If it were up to me again, I know I would buy it in a heartbeat, I know I would load it up and skip the countless window prompts so I could get a single bite of the pornographic images that are available online. However, despite the abundance of naked virtual women waiting in the digital sphere, I chose to purchase those games and dedicate hours of my life to it. That time will never return to me, it is lost just like my soul and like time I fear never to find it again.

There is something broken inside me, something that desires sensations beyond my reach, something that moans every night knowing that there is no real princess, it is simply an illusion. In my quest to find meaning in this long life, I searched for the colorful lights and sounds of a world that only exists in a pop-up window on my computer.

I'm not sure what the moral of this description is, I'm not sure of my place within the universe, all I know is that no amount of virtual girls can cure the big rot that has plagued me.