zay's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 16 Feb @ 7:19pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 17 Feb @ 9:08pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 4 Mar @ 6:49pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 27 Feb @ 9:32pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 8:04pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 16 Feb @ 6:49pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 16 Feb @ 7:22pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 17 Feb @ 9:06pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 18 Feb @ 11:09am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 15 Mar @ 9:58pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 18 Mar @ 12:43pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 15 Mar @ 9:42am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 1 Apr @ 9:33am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 13 Mar @ 4:35pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 9 Mar @ 11:40pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 11 May @ 11:06pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 4 Mar @ 7:18pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 9 Mar @ 11:54pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 19 Feb @ 9:11pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 27 Feb @ 10:11pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 19 May @ 2:30pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 17 Feb @ 10:41pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 18 Mar @ 12:39pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 17 May @ 4:14pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 19 May @ 3:08pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 12 Apr @ 7:44pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 7:52pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 25 Mar @ 11:28pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 17 Feb @ 9:05pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 13 Mar @ 4:24pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 14 Mar @ 10:29pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 1:34pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 8:07pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 27 Feb @ 9:41pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 15 Feb @ 1:34pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 17 Feb @ 8:47pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 9 Mar @ 11:49pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 5 Mar @ 3:06pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 14 Mar @ 9:42pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 20 May @ 12:17pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 19 May @ 1:53pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 19 May @ 1:54pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 8 Apr @ 1:16pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 18 Mar @ 12:45pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 27 Feb @ 9:27pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 27 Feb @ 10:19pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 4 Mar @ 6:06pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 4 Mar @ 7:19pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 5 Mar @ 3:41pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 27 Feb @ 12:09pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 4 Mar @ 5:51pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 16 Mar @ 7:06am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 19 Apr @ 11:34am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

9 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

9 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

11 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

1 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

1,575 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

8 / 30