No More Gyros's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2015 @ 3:23pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2022 @ 10:05am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2015 @ 3:19pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2022 @ 10:48am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 13 Nov, 2022 @ 4:09pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2015 @ 9:36pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2022 @ 10:11am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2022 @ 8:33pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2022 @ 10:28pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2022 @ 1:16pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 23 Dec, 2022 @ 1:49pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2022 @ 3:06pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 13 Nov, 2022 @ 3:26pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 11 Dec, 2022 @ 8:18pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2022 @ 12:16am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2022 @ 8:51am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2022 @ 8:25pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 22 Dec, 2022 @ 9:13am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 13 Nov, 2022 @ 2:48pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 11 Dec, 2022 @ 8:46pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2022 @ 12:51pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2015 @ 9:57pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2015 @ 9:10pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2022 @ 7:39pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2022 @ 12:01pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2022 @ 11:00pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2022 @ 12:19pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2022 @ 2:59pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2022 @ 12:29am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2022 @ 10:22am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 19 Jun, 2015 @ 3:19pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2022 @ 8:48pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2022 @ 10:31am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 10 Dec, 2022 @ 12:04pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2022 @ 1:19am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 11 Dec, 2022 @ 8:09pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2022 @ 11:36am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2022 @ 11:58pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2015 @ 9:47pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2015 @ 9:43pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2022 @ 8:59pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2015 @ 8:26pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2015 @ 9:25pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 24 Jun, 2017 @ 12:30pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2015 @ 9:44pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 11 Dec, 2022 @ 9:13pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2022 @ 11:36am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2015 @ 8:54pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 11 Dec, 2022 @ 8:23pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2015 @ 8:39pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2022 @ 11:27am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2022 @ 1:47am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2022 @ 1:35am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2022 @ 3:09pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2022 @ 8:14pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 1 Jan, 2023 @ 8:02pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 25 Jan, 2023 @ 11:36pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 26 Jan, 2023 @ 1:54am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 26 Jan, 2023 @ 11:04pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 28 Jan, 2023 @ 11:35pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 28 Jan, 2023 @ 11:05pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 19 Jan, 2023 @ 11:57pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2023 @ 12:16am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 26 Jan, 2023 @ 10:35pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 26 Jan, 2023 @ 10:16pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2022 @ 10:52am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2022 @ 10:00pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

26 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

2 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

20 / 30