It was a year or two ago and I was watching the emoji movie with like five people (We were 14) and around an hour in, Jailbreak (the emo emoji) comes in and my friend makes a bet “50 bucks to the first person who nuts” I and three other people agreed and we went in separate corners of the room and started trying. I timed it and within 3:47 minutes I nutted. But the worst part about this story IS THAT I LOST. SOMEONE ELSE GOT A TIME OF 49 SECONDS.

+rep

──────▄▀▄─────▄▀▄
─────▄█░░▀▀▀▀▀░░█▄
─▄▄──█░░░░░░░░░░░█──▄▄
█▄▄█─█░░▀░░┬░░▀░░█─█▄▄█

Infinite ♥♥♥. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to ♥♥♥ uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of ♥♥♥♥♥. You desperately shove your ♥♥♥♥ into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to ♥♥♥ into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The ♥♥♥ is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the ♥♥♥ from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the ♥♥♥. The ♥♥♥ accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The ♥♥♥ is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect ♥♥♥♥♥ hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to ♥♥♥ all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own ♥♥♥.

Monke!

Um, hi. I just recently saw your post about wanting a bf? So maybe I'd give it a shot, I mean you're really cute and friendly. I really like anime like you do! So, um.. Can we date? I'm sure we'll be the best otaku couple! We can listen to anime songs and maybe watch some Naruto and Dbz. Do you like those animes? It's okay if not.. Maybe we can watch something much more like hentai or not. I don't want to seem like your horny average guy, so we can watch something innocent. Maybe bleach.. Heh. You're so kawaii, y'know? I just want to kiss your face and call you my kohai. Would you like me to be your senpai boyfriend? I think it'll be really kawaii. I think I love you, kohai. Please make me happy and date a fellow otaku.