"De-add the blue eyes"

"I wanna play a character who has a perpetual layer of grease"

"My guy is so old he's black"

"How many rubles for a Russian ♥♥♥♥♥?"

"My crotch can't take this much man"

"All crime is now Illegal"

"Security just picked up my ashes and dumped me with the rest of the six million."

"We're both retarded so we're on even ground"

"Pacific Rimjob would have been a great porno"

"I hate to say it but we might need to beat up the elderly man"

"You have to use the dash, you dumb ******"

"You know, girls had 'fros in the 80s too, just not on their heads"

"You know, I think the issue is because I gave you rights as a human being."

"I dunno dude, i'm looking at my dog right now and I really wanna just dive into his ass"

"Their government is Centrist, they're unstoppable"

"You know, they can't see you if you blow their heads off."

"You want necrotic on it? That makes it so if you hit someone it deals damage"

"I really wish I could eliminate the Muslims"

"If you think about it, going forward is just going backwards backwards"

"It might be slightly quicker to kill myself"

"You help Mongo"

"My name is Ronald Raegan and I'm here to ♥♥♥♥ communism to dust"

"Technically, we are retarded right now. And since our full potential is to be Gods, we are retarded"

"Garzag count a whole purple number of guards, that ain't enough for Garzag."

"I ate 171 cubed inches of macaroni and cheese"

"I had no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ clue what was happening because I was trying to figure out the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ controls. And they are absolute poo-poo-ass"

"Peak Martial Artial"

"I'm going to think about you while I commit marital rape on my future wife"

"Sometimes I put porn on in the background while playing a game"

“Chris-Chan is a member of the Hung Dynasty.”

"I found Yoga's house"

"I don't think you know skull ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥."

"Why the ♥♥♥♥ Shredded Cheese so good?"
"D are you eating a handful of shredded cheese?"
"No I took the whole bag, i'm not a mongrel"

"If this peanut butter were an anthropomorphic woman drawn by some neckbeard in his basement, she would be the thickest, most ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ woman on the planet"

"Is there a word for horny, but for when you want food?"

"We're gonna become part - part - par... par.. pa... pa... we're gonna become Human!"

"What's wrong with equality?"
"Everything, it's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ equality!"

"I'm hungry for ♥♥♥♥, who can provide?"

"I rape people, but only with their consent"

"I quote Queen when I say don't.... uh.... ummm... the... whatever."

"That guy's getting beaten so hard he's gonna forget he's black"

"I took my horse to the Old Town Road and ended up in the epileptic ward"

"That's what your mom said when we engaged in mecha on mecha combat"

"Black Spiderman said 'I don't wanna do the thing,' but Bigger Spiderman said 'My wife died, you gotta do the thing!' And then Black Spiderman does the thing, and then beats the guy"

"Have the password be the N-word and limit it so only black people can say it"

"You know, I wonder what made Hitler crazy enough to kill all Jews."

"This might sound a little ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up, but it's basically a race war"

"Just steal her identity! Watch this! D, what's your Social Security Number?"
"I'm not falling for that again, ♥♥♥♥"

"I wonder if pedophilia is legal in this world"

"I've never seen a set of stairs in my life"

"Hands are kneek"

"If you're suckin peepee in the back alley, you def make fat stacks"
"D, how do you know this?"
"...I don't want to talk about it"

"I still find it weird that Nintendo put a reference to Squidward's suicide in a Spongebob episode"

"I don't care if we're taking away the right to vote from certain people, at least the right people are voting"

"So you're saying he's a white black guy"

"Silence, Garlic Man"

"Fine, yes. Eromanga Sensei is a decent anime according to the standards I set for myself."

"Silence, Tzatziki Man"

"Detroit is a city, right?"

"I swear if each and everyone one of you were on a bus, and the bus were filled with children, and the bus crashed off the cliff, I'D CRY FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE CHILDREN BUT NOT YOU"

"Why use 'Child Armies' as a measurement?"
"That's just the standard, C. You don't question why people use Metric, do you?"

"Well yeah, I don't want to leave broccoli in his pubes"

"I can drink a gallon of gas and never worry about eating for the rest of my life"

"Yes, it worked! I knew calling them Jews would work!"

"Megamind is Alt-Right"

"I don't want you guys to teach my Robot how to say the N-Word"

"I'm willing to bet Nick Fury had jungle fever"

"Every time I see a steven universe profile picture I just feel ceaseless, boiling rage inside of me"

"I still have your rapier, do you want it back? Nevermind, I'm dead."

"I sent you directly to Yu-Gi-Oh Capsule Monsters"

"A little Michael Jackson never hurt... nevermind."

"What angle does your forehead slope take?"

"No, this is for 2E Second Edition"

"Survivors are a side-effect of Victory"

"They have the REPUBLICAN COMMANDOS!"

"I'm gonna make what ♥♥♥♥ Cheney did to that Senator look like an accident"

"Where did you get a McAllister's cookie from?"
"McAllister's, dumbass"

"A, what if the Radio starts playing your books?"

“It is a little fishy, but I am also retarded.”

"Deep Dark Demetrius is going to break down the door and send my head through my pelvis"

"I miscarried."
"So who's decision was it?"
"R, you don't decide to miscarry"

"I just scattered ash everywhere. Sorry Grandma"

"I put a cookie in the microwave and now it's hotter than the sun"
"What is with you and microwaving random ♥♥♥♥?!"

"It's not a choice if you don't give consent, and I know dead bodies can't consent"

"Part 2 will be graded next week... thanks this doesn't help me"
"Just threaten to bomb her house"

"If you won't play Persona 4, i'll play Final Fantasy 4x2"
"That's 28"

"Yeah, he got Ram Ranch'd by his parents. In the most pedestrian way one can interpret Ram Ranch"

"My dad ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Bill Gates"

"I'll shoot a kid but I won't say the N-Word"

"Music used to be like, really somber and 'introspective' but nowadays, music lyrics are just, 'went down to the club, ♥♥♥♥♥ so big'"

"Maybe i'll skip my 10 o'clock ♥♥♥♥ flattening in Division to clean up my games"

"I tried to remember what Bossk's race is called and I almost called them Rhodesians."

"Yeah don't the Mormons pray at Mecca or something?"
"No the Mormon's don't have Mechs."

"I only casually partake in voter surpression"

"People wouldn't question your willingness to die for America, but would you be willing to die for Illinois? Really?"

"Life is Spain without the A"
"Span?"

"So what do you think, C?"
"Well he's not my ideal man."
"What is your idea man then?"

“Man, can you imagine spending all of that time learning how to tie knots just to get molested?”

"I'm gonna kiss you up regardless of your life status"

"The Pigeons will decide your fate"

"This would work because we know that Darth Maul hasn't seen Home Alone"

"You could have prosecuted me"
"I was your defense attorney"
"Yeah but you could have"

"What do you call a long square again?"

“I’m gonna GOOOOSE!! Aaaaaghhhghhg”

"Pew Pew, Bye-Bye, Your Penis"

"I'm just asking you to not kill people on purpose"
"♥♥♥♥ you"

"You keep calling me black, and yet you wonder why black people commit 50% of crime"

"Is this the one with the fingers in his ass guy or is that another game?"

"Yeah maybe I did eat the spiders, so what?"

"What, you don't have a dresser full of clothing for little girls in your jet?"

"Replace the Lawn with Grass"

“But she’s sexist...”
“So am I.”