Lach1™'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2014 @ 3:53am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2014 @ 8:09am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2015 @ 1:31pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 1:43am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2014 @ 4:19am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2015 @ 5:49am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2014 @ 12:59pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2014 @ 1:42pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2015 @ 2:07am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2015 @ 1:53pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 1:11am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 24 Dec, 2015 @ 3:08am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2015 @ 5:42am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 23 Dec, 2015 @ 1:09pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 22 Dec, 2015 @ 1:26am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 1:58pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 23 Dec, 2015 @ 1:17pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 12:35am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 12:41am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2016 @ 1:49pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2015 @ 3:44am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2014 @ 12:43pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 12:43am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2015 @ 3:02am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 1:27am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 1:57am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 12:54am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 24 Dec, 2015 @ 3:13am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2015 @ 3:54am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2015 @ 6:01am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 2:17am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 1:27am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 23 Dec, 2015 @ 1:38pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2015 @ 4:02am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 1:52am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2014 @ 5:49am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2014 @ 1:13pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 3:01am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2014 @ 3:46am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 31 Dec, 2014 @ 8:09am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 20 Dec, 2015 @ 1:55pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 2:34am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2016 @ 1:42pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2016 @ 1:59pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2016 @ 1:48am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 21 Dec, 2015 @ 2:23am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 22 Dec, 2015 @ 1:31am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 2:36am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2016 @ 2:10pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2016 @ 1:26am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2016 @ 1:52am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2016 @ 2:14pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 12:57pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2016 @ 2:02pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2015 @ 5:43am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 26 Dec, 2015 @ 12:55pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 26 Dec, 2015 @ 1:56pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2015 @ 7:11am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:57am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 30 Dec, 2015 @ 2:14am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2015 @ 12:10pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 1:27pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 2:08pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 28 Dec, 2015 @ 6:25am

Ladies Love Cake

Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 1:22pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 1:25am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2016 @ 2:58am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 1:37am

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

Unlocked 29 Dec, 2015 @ 12:46pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 25 Dec, 2015 @ 5:57am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2016 @ 12:35pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

1 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

12 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

+3