Recent reviews by Oatmeal Vendor

It's a game loosely based on Runescape 3, but completely AFK. However, the game gets really repetitive really quickly, and bites off more than it can chew. A lot of mechanics are really unintuitive, and gear progression is absolutely awful. But, if you spend enough time learning the game and take it slow, it's a neat little AFK game.

Also, if you buy the DLCs on one platform, you get access on all of them. However, the game REALLY needs to be made available offline. There's 0 reason for connection requirement when cheats are literally available on the in-game mod browser.

Also it's moddable. 90% of the mods are QoL, 7% are cheats, and 3% are actual content additions. Not my favorite distribution, but the potential is there.

Buy it if you want a neat little AFK game to play on the side. The base game is good, Throne of the Herald is good, but Atlas of Discovery and Into the Abyss are mid.

If you're looking for an extra-cruelty, non-vegan, ATF non-compliant experience, it'll only cost you 20 bucks.

What is this game about? Nothing. It's a gun gallery with a lot of complimentary content to go with your guns. That's it. You won't be getting bored any time soon.

It's also moddable.

9/10, please make it so British players can only access the melee category for a 10/10.

Oh boy, I get to pay 45 bucks to cap my framerate at 15.


Throughout its life, ARK: Survival Evolved was plagued with long term issues that added up to a quantity that justified tearing the whole thing down and rebuilding it from scratch. With everything they've learned over the years, they were gonna get it right this time around, and blow the pvp survival genre out of the water. Then we were reminded who was actually developing it.

The early claims for ASA stated that the game was going to be made from the ground up. 0 to 100, no backported content from the original game. This was not the case. Instead, they pulled a backup from a long time ago, gave it the landlord special, added some QoL, and called it good. How can I tell? The same exact bugs from 2016 were present. Not similar bugs, the EXACT same bugs. The most notable one being the position of dinosaurs on player structures becoming corrupted when stasis engaged. Because I specifically remember parking my 50 turtles in a nice even line on the ground, not in the ceiling. Additionally, they decided to be even lazier and not reform the antimesh barrier, so there were spots on the map that used to be under the mesh in the old game, so passing your dinos through would delete them and their inventory.

As for performance, it is somehow significantly worse than ASE. Some of the issues can be fixed on the player's end, such as disabling volumetric lighting and clouds, but a lot of these fixes are disabled within a week of being discovered. The biggest performance booster was removing a lot of filler foliage and trees, because they added a LOT. It's impossible to see a lot of the map and what's in it due to sheer foliage density, and they removed our ability to actually clear it up. But even during the release, which didn't have many console commands disabled, it was still bad.

Lastly, P2W. In ASE, this was somewhat present due to the newer maps having much better availability of rarer resources, but that wasn't so bad. But with ASA, the "bonus content additions" are actually extremely powerful advantages over other players.

Don't bother with this game. Just play the original.

FISH PUNCHING MECH, 17 DEAD REAPERS OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE.

Do you fear the ocean? Do you hate the idea of playing a game with large aquatic beasts deserving of the classification of Leviathan? Do you hate the idea of a "Reaper Leviathan" even more? Well too bad, it's time for exposure therapy because humans aren't the top of the food chain on this planet and we need to fix that.

Subnautica is a game that many would classify as a open world survival horror game with sci-fi elements based mostly underwater. However, this illusion only persists until you go onto the wiki and realize that each of the big bad fish you're so scared of actually have a health value. Then the real hunt begins. Make a prawn suit with a grapple attachment, and get killing. As soon as you start dealing damage to the reapers, they run away like cowards. Chase it, be the persistence hunter you were meant to be.

As for the other 99% of the game that isn't entertaining your newfound violent tendencies, it's actually a very stellar game. It's a beautiful, handcrafted map, coupled with one of the best building systems I've seen in a game. Other games require you to farm materials, wait for things to craft, and effectively forces you to spam down resource processing facilities in order to progress at a good pace. Subnautica does not do this. Resources are abundant, and demand is low. Some things are tedious to get, but none of it takes very long to get and you don't need a lot of it. There isn't even a metal ore and metal bar thing going. Metal is metal. Additionally, there's no incorrect way to build your base. There's no meta, or best in slot of anything, except the prawn suit for obvious reasons. Build whatever you want, wherever you want, and have a good time. Don't wanna follow the story? You don't have to, but I recommend it. It's not that long, maybe taking a day or two to finish, but it brings you to some pretty interesting areas.

The game also has a LOT of mods. Minimap? Sure. Want the crafting station to be able to pull materials from nearby storage instead of you having to go grab everything? Why not. More slots on your hotbar? Right on. More leviathans? God speed. No leviathans? Coward! Huge expansion mod that add way too much content to be able to summarize in a game review? Just don't install all of them at once. Or go ahead and install all of them at once, have fun dealing with whatever a gulper leviathan is 5 seconds after spawning in.

It's a beautiful game that is extremely easy to learn. The most complicated thing you'll have to figure out is the grapple on the prawn suit, which turns the slowest and most immobile vehicle in the game into the fastest one with no contest. The game world is the perfect size, not too big or too small, and none of it feels like copy+paste. It's all handcrafted, and filled in by people who had passion for it. The game also runs extremely well, and game breaking bugs are rare (but not absent, don't take the prawn suit onto dry land or you'll get it stuck on something very quickly). It's an experience for everyone.

10/10, and this is a review by an American for a game that does not feature guns. Buy it.

40GB PAGEFILE FOR MY CHEESE TEXTURES

410,757,864,530 DEAD THALMOR

monkey on da nexus fo today

It's fun, but unfortunately, requires a controller. Even though the game would be better off on MKB, many abilities are disabled because they have no controls for keyboard, which forces you to use a controller.

For example, table hopper and shuffle. These abilities, while probably good, I can't use because my keyboard lacks an analog stick. And while it would be easy to fix this, by making D function like analog down, it is unfortunately not the case. WASD do not function for the analog directions, nor does mouse movement.

If you like games that are intuitive and allow extremely flashy combos and strategies without requiring extra hardware, look elsewhere.

Kenshi is a wonderful game, built in an engine that utilizes modern technology as well as lukewarm fryer oil. Half of the game is loading sim, half of the game is the most unique game you will ever play.

It's harder than Dark Souls, has almost no tutorial, and some of the stats are unintuitive to train. But, once you figure it out, it's easy to efficiently get your teeth kicked in.

Make 3000 hats, grow a ton of drugs, commit regicide, or die in a ditch because bandits wanted the wooden stick you found on some schmuck. Then, learn the art of stealth, walk into a fortified compound guarding the emperor of the union, and walk out with his unconscious body while nobody's the wiser.

Then die to bandits again because you get a 25% stealth penalty when carrying a body.

8/10, game is fun but pathfinding and loading times make me want to eat cement.

Sometimes, having less features is the way to go. Games like Cyberpunk 2077 were doomed from the start.
This game proves that.

There is very little to this game. Find ball, throw ball, repeat. However, it ends up being one of the funnest games I've played in a hot minute. No instakill mechanics, no p2w, no lootboxes. It's just the best game of dodgeball you will ever play.

It's probably worth more than $20, and it has plenty of competitive potential. In fact, all it really needs is a league to host it.

Buy it, loser.

Games teaches you that deployment of nuclear weapons, communions with powerful spirits, and arson are practical and suggested reactions to seeing a balloon.

10/10 monke

RS3 is one of those games that everyone talks bad about, but ends up being slightly better than the alternative. RS3 and Old School (2007 version) are completely different games today, but built off of the same thing. However, there's a very big difference between the 2: RS3 rewards you for the work you put in, while OSRS is a mountain ending with a cliff that you must jump off in order to reach the gold and punishes you for every second spent NOT being at the end. If you're looking for a game that rewards you for putting a ton of work in, play RS3. If you're looking for a game that locks ALL of its content at the end game and has an extremely poor work to reward ratio, play OSRS.

You also hear a lot about ironmans and MTX (Microtransactions). However, little did people know, there's no P2W anymore. They removed that years ago. Literally the only thing you can buy is cosmetics and minor XP buffs. Plus, you can easily buy membership and all the cool MTX stuff with in game gold if you get enough of it, which isn't hard at all. If you put in enough time to want to spend money on it, you should have enough gold to waste.

However, both games are very fun. And why choose one: if you have membership for one, you have an account and membership for the other. One membership works for both, and all you have to do is log in with the same info.

tl:dr: game is fun like 70% of the time, the other 30% is grinding or flexing. For OSRS: game is fun 2% of the time.