"Salt gathers, and now my feed begins. It shall not end until my team's loss. I shall take no advice, hold no sentries, place no wards. I shall buy no tangos and win no lanes. I shall live and die past the river. I am the free lunch in the enemy jungle. I am the one hooked past the base walls. I am the tryhard that flames the teams of both Radiant and Dire. I pledge my unpauses and ragequits to my allies, for my team sucked and I played flawlessly."