Jokic hit a triple-double so disgustingly perfect it made my dog pack his bags and leave the house 🐕🚪. I just watched this 7-foot Serbian pasta enthusiast lob a pass so precise, it cured my astigmatism and unlocked my iPhone. Bro moves like an overcooked lasagna but somehow dominates like he’s playing against middle schoolers at recess.

And HOW does he keep doing this?? Bro is out here casually dropping triple-doubles like it’s his side hustle, while I’m out here struggling to parallel park. Aaron Gordon caught that full-court dime and dunked so hard I heard a bald eagle screech in the distance. Jokic isn’t human—he’s a sentient loaf of bread with cheat codes.

Also, can someone explain why his face never changes?? He’ll throw a behind-the-back pass that defies physics and look like he’s thinking about milk prices at Costco 🥛. I’m not even a Nuggets fan, but Jokic makes me want to build a shrine out of Denver altitude air and start writing poetry.

-╭┻-━━┻╮-_
 ┃╭╮╭╮┃
╭┫▕▎▕▎┣╮
╰┓┳╰╯┳┏╯
╭┛╰━━╯┗━━━╮
┃┃    ┏━╭╰╯╮
┃┃    ┃┏┻━━┻┓
╰┫ ╭╮ ┃┃ Cancer ┃
 ┃ ┃┃ ┃╰━━━━╯
╭┛ ┃┃ ┗-

Have a Cummybara
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⡔⢩⠂⠀⠒⠗⠈⠀⠉⠢⠄⣀⠠⠤⠄⠒⢖⡒⢒⠂⠤⢄
⠇⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⠈⡨⢀⠡⡪⠢⡀
⠈⠒⠀⠤⠤⣄⡆⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠢⠀⢕⠱
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢳⣐⡐⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠁⠇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢤⢁⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢰⠀⠀⠀⡀⢄⡜
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡦⠄⡷⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤⢬⢈⡇⢠⣈⣰⠎
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣃⢸⡇⠀~~c===⢪⢀⣺⡅⢈⠆
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉

⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⢄⢬⢪⡪⡎⣆⡈⠚⠜⠕⠇⠗⠝⢕⢯⢫⣞⣯⣿⣻⡽⣏⢗⣗⠏⠀ ⠀⠪⡪⡪⣪⢪⢺⢸⢢⢓⢆⢤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢊⢞⡾⣿⡯⣏⢮⠷⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠊⠆⡃⠕⢕⢇⢇⢇⢇⢇⢏⢎⢎⢆⢄⠀⢑⣽⣿⢝⠲⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠂⠠⠀⡇⢇⠕⢈⣀⠀⠁⠡⠣⡣⡫⣂⣿⠯⢪⠰⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡦⡙⡂⢀⢤⢣⠣⡈⣾⡃⠠⠄⠀⡄⢱⣌⣶⢏⢊⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢝⡲⣜⡮⡏⢎⢌⢂⠙⠢⠐⢀⢘⢵⣽⣿⡿⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣺⡺⡕⡕⡱⡑⡆⡕⡅⡕⡜⡼⢽⡻⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣳⣫⣾⣵⣗⡵⡱⡡⢣⢑⢕⢜⢕⡝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⡽⡑⢌⠪⡢⡣⣣⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡟⡾⣿⢿⢿⢵⣽⣾⣼⣘⢸⢸⣞⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

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signed by the one and only peepee haver