Nylige anmeldelser av Bimmy

Guts and Glory is not a bad game, but it is not what you think it is when you look at it. It markets itself as essentially 3D Happy Wheels, but this is far from that. Happy Wheels is a game that can relieve stress and can be actually fun. Guts and Glory is a rage game that wants you to make precise movements with the world's worst movement system.
You can press A or D for a quarter of a second and somehow your character will turn a full 90 degrees. You can do the same thing a hundred times and you will get a hundred different results. You can attempt to move any direction that isn't forward and your character, no matter the vehicle, will take a millennia to do so. This is especially prevalent with bike characters, especially Jack and Jill which are the most annoying to control as Jill's cart sways and drags you for the slightest movements. Zoe is the second most annoying (the motorbike character) as she is the only character that will consistently drift for no reason, even if you have freshly spawned on a flat surface and hold only W.
Back to the preciseness, this game is all about incredibly precise movements, as some levels want you to go through hallways that are exactly your size, some want you to make massive jumps (you can't control anything except for rotation mid-air (rotation meaning the way you face, not momentum)), and some want you to cross very thin bridges as you have arrows shot at you which will push you if they hit certain (90% of your body and vehicle) points.
The camera is the last negative I can think of due to me wanting to like the game, which I mostly do (community maps are the only stress relievers). The camera is not locked to a part of you, it is locked to above you. This means if you flip in most scenarios (sometimes it's ok) or fall for a long time the camera will lag a long way behind you and you can't see where you are going. This is not a problem most of the time, but the Stunt Tour levels (especially Sky Scraper and Shining Moment) make it very apparent. Most levels in Desert Legend (Pedro, the Mexican guy in a car full of a certain substance) have parts that would usually be stressful, but the size of the car and the frequency of checkpoints make those levels actually fun.
Bonus nitpick are the YouTuber levels. They are absolutely terrible and don't seem to be tested properly, as some parts take just luck to beat. CoryxKenshin, H2O Delirious, and ironically Annoying Orange have the most annoying levels. If you've played you might ask why Cory, and that's because he plasters his own YouTube video thumbnails all over the place with braindead expressions that make me angry.

You get what you pay for, but it's a shell of what it used to be. It feels the same, but the lack of any new content makes its age very apparent. The most apparent is when the game freezes and then everything else open on your computer starts to do whatever it wants.
The developers are currently working on a sequel, which is the dumbest thing I've heard. Imagine if there was suddenly Minecraft 2, Fortnite 2, Roblox 2, literally any sandbox game that would act fundamentally the exact same in a sequel. Just update the game or even make new content DLC, I hate playing for 20 minutes and then my computer spontaneously decides to flick through my files and freeze.
As I said, you get what you pay for. It's the exact same as 2014 but without the charm, unless you look through the workshop.

I understand that I haven't experienced a whole lot of the game, but most other negative reviews say similar to my own, so I can only assume only the same is to come. The game on release was legendary for the time, and it directly inspired much more modern-feeling games like Dying Light (a game that has good controls and feel). The default controls feel wacky and wonky, but changing them to modern standards (or literally anything more comfortable) forces you to consider how you will be able to hit every specific key while in a fast-paced environment, so changing them is an absolute chore. The tutorial teaches you the controls but on some parts will make something way more convoluted than necessary (telling you to mash space and Q when all you need to do is wallrun and jump once), and when you finally get on the first level not only are you greeted with the most annoying, boring and apathetic characters that have no chemistry, but you will know what insanity is when you try something several times, the exact same way, and somehow get a different result every time. The movement is inconsistent and floaty (except when it doesn't want to be), grappling onto rooves and pipes can be a nightmare, and you will realise how slow you really move for a parkour game that's whole premise is to be fast and accurate. "Runner Vision" is an absolute joke of a mechanic that just paints props red that the game wants you to use even if there are more efficient alternative ways that lead to massive pits because a game about parkour shouldn't have any kind of creativity or intuition for some reason. The game is extremely linear and can be genuinely frustrating, but every time you get angry it is always at the game and never at yourself because the date really shows.
This is only from a little over half an hour of time.
This is not an attack on people that like the game or those that find the mechanics simpler to understand or anything, I just feel that the game treats the player like a wet rag.

TL:DR
Game was good on release. Game is now dated and suffers extremely because of it. Expect inconsistency and a story that will leave you braindead.

relaxing painting simulator, good for stress and fun for all ages

The BEST game you've NEVER PLAYED

(Video fades from black with white static overlayed on it with 50% opacity, plays drone footage of a dense forest in Canada)
(Silent Hill OST plays)
Corn is a game you've probably never heard of. A game that I hadn't even known existed up until a few weeks ago. I know what you're thinking: "Why are you making this high quality video about a game you know nothing about?" and to that I say: "I'm here to sit on my stool and educate teenagers about a freely accessible game that needs no introduction."
Before we get into the nitty-gritty, please, I beg of you, I kneel from my high horse and start sucking your throbber, please subscribe to my YouTube channel that has a healthy amount of views and comments per video regardless of your subscription, I need an extra few trillion dollars to make my next slop video that costs absolutely no funding and I edit it all myself for free, cropping out the watermark in the corner with an online program. Only about 80% of my viewership are made of subscribers, and it hurts my ego not seeing it higher than it should be. So please, please subscribe and like the video before I've even said anything and thus you cannot make an opinion of my content other than my plug.
Anyways, Corn is a video game made by...
(Zooms out frame with black borders)
(Forced laugh that is intended to sound authentic like a blooper)
Team Sneed?
(Keep changing the angle of the frame and mispronounce the name four times as it happens)
Woah. That's... pretty fricking weird. But, Corn is made by...
(Another forced laugh)
Team Sneed. It looks like a humble clicking simulator, but deep down, it's something more. This game is a goshdarn hazard to the human conscience.
(Stock piano music plays as actual gameplay fades in from black, with white text exclaiming "CHAPTER 1: CORN")
(Shakey voice as if just used and dumped on the side of the road by a gangbanger)
This game has almost ruined my life. During the whole two hours in which I experienced this game, I didn't pay attention to anything whatsoever and had to resort to online tutorials that I will not specify are IGN videos that also completely ignore everything except for the path forward. This game is hard. Seriously hard. The clicking might seem innocent enough, but my brain that is entirely engulfed in Twitter and not my computer couldn't cope with the overbearing stress that is collecting new corns. You see, corns are items in the game, like any other, but they hold abilities that I couldn't understand until a Steam community guide explained them with an anime thumbnail and gifs in every chapter. They give you extra clicks per second, or as the players call it, CPS. This change in terminology stressed me the frick out when I first laid my hands upon the game. I mean, I'm a seasoned gamer with a handful of hours of TF2 on my belt, so if this confused me, I can only imagine what was to come. And to that, I say much, much more...
(Stock horror boom droning sound plays, and "CHAPTER 2: THE STRUGGLE" appears)
The grind had started. I was desperate for experience, both literal and perhaps XP points in the game like the ones Minecraft has, as my career was started by fake Minecraft hardcore videos of me building structures that take literal real days to create and I supposedly only took a couple of hours, and thus my view on video games is forever a comparison to Minecraft, TF2, Phantom Forces, Five Nights at Freddy's and whatever game is trending in the current day. I was sweating actual bullets trying to figure this crap out.
(Stock footage of a black man in an office sweating and wiping his head while working)
But then, it clicked.
(Hollywood boom sound with reverb plays quietly)
I had to keep going. I know, for a chocolate Soylent consumer like myself, this was a hefty task. I mean, at nineteen I had never even thought of getting a job and just got lucky by the YouTube algorithm by abusing trendy titles and sexualised thumbnails. This was going to take effort. This was going to take time, which I have never heard of as I commonly get uncomfortable at the thought of waiting for literally anything, and I have given myself a viral spread of ADHD caused by kids my age in my country growing broccoli on their heads and using black slang as a pasty white boy. I needed to think...
(Sudden tone change as sponsorship footage plays that was sent through email)
Soylent is a new drink that I am being paid to say I enjoy. It is not repulsive or disgusting in any way, and it has health benefits that I'm not going to read because they don't exist. If you eat red meat, you will get cancer. Nobody made this up to make people become vegan out of fear, it is completely true and has relevance to the sponsor, as does the sponsor to the video game I'm discussing to you in a way that makes me seem more knowledegable than people who play the game regularly and have more hours. Anyway, I won't bore you with the details of supposed medical benefits that need no fact checking because drinking this black tar concoction is completely safe and healthier than water itself. Go buy Soylent right now with the code that confirms that this is a way for the company and myself to make some cash and nothing more. Please enjoy the regularly scheduled program...
(Silent Hill OST plays)
(Fade from black back to gameplay footage)
(Voice recording from post overlayed over footage pretending to be live from the game)
Oh, what? What is this? Dude...
("CHAPTER 3: DEFYING ME SELFUM IN HOLY GRAIL ECTOPLASM 2001 A SPACE ODYSSEY")
This is it. What you've been waiting for. For me to get to the point and to explain to you the ending and story of this game in a poor and misguided manner. I'm ready. Corn is a game made by Team Sneed...
(Forced laugh played at 20% volume to reflect being in another room for some reason)
And it is a hard game. This game grinded my gears, made me upset, pushed me to my limit, and I can now safely say I understand the game. But, I'm not going to just tell you, dear viewer that wasted ten minutes in hopes of finding out more about this game, I want you to experience this for yourself, even if it is unavailable on your platform. I want you to figure this out yourself. This game took me for a trip and another twenty, and I want you to show me some respect for showing no footage or proof of getting anywhere past 50% of the game while claiming I've mastered it. And for now, this would be goodbye...
(Fade to black, just to fade from black to a striking white page with a list of Patreon supporters)
Thank you to my loving Patreons, my loving fans, my loving viewers that I treat like toddlers and that I scolded not long ago for not being subscribed to my very stable YouTube channel that has no intent of suddenly tanking, and thank you in particular. You have taken me such a long way from my humble beginnings to now and onward. And for that, I'm grateful. If you liked the video, please leave an epic updoot and a subscription, perhaps. It would mean the world to me. Thank you.
(Fade to black but don't fade out music, as it awkwardly cuts off at the end of the video)

Spawned in, had to die just to use my avatar, had zero interaction with any players, melee swings so slowly and is so unresponsive, zombies maul me 50 times over before I'm able to swing again, have to walk the world 100 times to find anything whatsoever that isn't a pair of pants or a flat cap, either die to blood loss that I just bandaged up for some reason or hunger because a meal's worth of peaches and chips is still not enough to satisfy me for 10 minutes.

I want to like the game but it is so deathly boring. YouTube has put the game out of proportion and makes it seem as if you will get literally anything useful within at least an hour from spawning. People who play this game still are either dusty corpses or they play modded servers that require 100 mods and a gigafloppaterrabyte of space (I'm also kinda lazy, but I don't want to play modded to enjoy a game). The game feels so empty and unfinished, you will see crates and medical boxes and the like yet you cannot open a thing. I found a cleaver and that's really it before I decided that the hype makes no sense.

The most linear DLC story as you only progress forward on the map (you can explore each section, but all there is to do is detonate tiny warheads, take occasionally decent gear, and kill ♥♥♥♥).
ED-E doesn't do much as a companion but is amusing in most of his dialogues and expositions, but Ulysses is the most annoying and petty character in any Interplay/Black Isle/Obsidian Fallout story. He drones on about not being able to trust people and how Courier Six unknowingly ruined his life despite him being almost just as guilty, and instead of moving on he treks across the entire planet to get you to find him.
The only good takeaway is the ending where you can shoot him dead and nuke people you don't like, as well as the Red Glare launcher (although after you've used all the rockets, and you will, buying more will be your new mortgage). The combat with new enemies is also fun once you get used to the new weapons and difficulty.

according to roblox players; god forbid a man play his favourite slurs for everyone to enjoy

I am a sex offender

The Definitive Jerma Simulator, as I sat on the slots for over an hour and still didn't hit triple 7s