Jerry
My name is JerryEight and I am almost twenty years old. While I seem the same as many other people my age, I am plagued by the constant fear that someone will one day realise the terrible truth; my life is a series of lies compounded one on top of another, a fragile house of cards that could topple at any moment.

While I might seem a mild-mannered human man, the truth is that I am a actually a primitive text-to-speech program stored on a series of 3.5” floppy disks left sitting on a microwave in the summer of 1996. During an unprecedented planetary alignment, the microwave was left on overnight. The resulting confluence of unearthly energies was sufficient to breathe life into my fragile plastic frame.

Every day, I get up and put my pants on the same as you do, one stack of diskettes at a time, but I must also live in mortal terror of walking too close to a magnet, or blown away by a strong breeze.

If you have spoken to me over the course of a game, please feel free to rank my grammar, syntax, and pronunciation in the comments below. With your help, I will become the best text-to-voice simulation possible.