19
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100
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Recent reviews by CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME

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Showing 1-10 of 19 entries
3 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
9.8 hrs on record (2.8 hrs at review time)
Yeah, I play porn games on main, how could you tell?

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿
⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿⣿
⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼⣿
⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼
⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉
⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄
Posted 31 August, 2024.
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1 person found this review helpful
50.0 hrs on record (46.3 hrs at review time)
I regret nothing.
Posted 8 June, 2024. Last edited 9 June, 2024.
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7 people found this review helpful
58.9 hrs on record
I'm a years-long Escapists veteran, having beaten all prisons multiple times in a pirated copy and now having beat them in a legitimate copy on Steam, also speedrunning the game in my earlier years and completing the entirety of The Escapists 2. It took me about 59 hours to complete all of the achievements, some of which are locked behind purchasable DLC (which I don't particularly like, but it is what it is). This being a prequel to the second entry, I would argue anyone should play this game first to understand some crucial mechanics before playing the second game, but ultimately you aren't losing a lot if you don't. Assuming you do though, this game doesn't have a lot of replay value; it was designed so players progress through prisons, so you will not have a lot of hours in any given prison unless those hours are spent grinding and developing an escape arsenal.

I LOVE this game. I first saw it played at a house party when I was really young, maybe 9 or 10. I was fascinated with it from the start, the premise being simple enough for anyone to understand with mechanics that aren't overly complex to pose ridiculously challenging prisons. My only gripe is that many crucial hints to escape prisons (especially a few DLC maps) are locked behind money, which are obtained through quests and jobs. This wouldn't necessarily be a bad mechanic (as the second game does the same thing) if there were markers and helpful guides to lead you to your task, as the second game does. As a result, you waste a LOT of time trying to find items and raising your intellect to craft them into your escape tools. It's for this big reason that I believe the second entry is objectively better, aside from the higher res textures, the more consistently-comedic jabs and references, and far easier movement.

When you play this game, you're gonna come across some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Just be prepared. Follow online tips. Don't be afraid to look up tutorials, walkthroughs, or even recipes if you don't have a full recipe book. This game made me violently angry against police officers.

Solid 8/10
Posted 29 May, 2024. Last edited 29 May, 2024.
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1 person found this review helpful
396.3 hrs on record (395.5 hrs at review time)
it's okay i guess
Posted 26 May, 2024.
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1 person found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
7.9 hrs on record
Yeah I play NSFW games on main, why?
Posted 24 May, 2024.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1.6 hrs on record (0.7 hrs at review time)
Cute little 30 minute to 1 hour clicker game, all about our good pal: mayo.
Posted 18 April, 2024.
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1 person found this review helpful
0.1 hrs on record
i ♥♥♥♥ my guts out of my mouth and internally bled, that's just how intense this game is.
Posted 6 January, 2024.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
7.7 hrs on record
A classic 2007 puzzle game with all-new technology that gives its original 16 year old look a fine makeover. Despite its availability for strictly RTX-capable NVIDIA graphics cards, it's still a worth-while play for its new demonstration of existing technologies and how well it can apply to older applications, with games like Portal. If you liked the original, try it again with RTX. I even beat it with all achievements!
Posted 23 November, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
114.0 hrs on record (112.1 hrs at review time)
Outstanding game. Both the campaign and co-op modes give you a big dash of Aperture Science lore following the events of Black Mesa's resonance cascade which devastated the New Mexico desert and unleashed hell for outsiders. But for you, or your partner, you are sheltered in the puzzling test chambers to navigate and escape the grasp of a higher order.
This game is legitimately brilliant, especially considering how innovative it was for 2011 to build upon the lore and stories of a game released four years prior in 2007. Improved graphics, an updated movement system, and all new stories regarding Chell and GLaDOS of the prior game.
Even when you're finished with the campaign and co-op modes, you still have other things to do! Achievement hunting in this game is actually rather fun, especially with someone who is doing the same. Some achievements are really meant for the advanced and competent players, while many are provided for simply progressing through modes.
9/10
Posted 22 June, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
32.5 hrs on record (9.2 hrs at review time)
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Posted 12 November, 2022.
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Showing 1-10 of 19 entries