Recent reviews by Coffee Man

Finished the Haus DLC first and I quite liked it, so I went in with decent expectations for this one as well. Unfortunately, this one is a boring mess with abysmal writing for the story (not so bad/cheesy it's good, this one is just plain bad), a map too huge for it's own good that looks good but plays terribly, and 2 new annoying mini-boss enemy types.

A good chunk of players complained about the final boss of this DLC, but honestly, the final boss wasn't that bad. Sure, it was a decent difficulty spike, but I beat him first try and didn't even have to try that hard. My main issues with this DLC was the map itself and the 2 new mini-boss enemies they added: Whipper and Clotter.

The map looks really good for what it is, even got some Dead Island 1 vibes from it, but it's TOO HUGE. You'll spend a good chunk of your time just... running. And running. And running. And running to get to where you wanna go. It doesn't help that the main quest for this DLC forces you to go back and forth across the whole map repeatedly, and this running back and forth got tiring FAST. It felt more like padding than anything.

Aside from the map issues, the 2 new enemies are simply not fun to fight. Clotter is at least managable, even if constantly teleporting close to you is cheap, but Whipper is just annoying, and to top it all off, they can also temporarily disable your Fury Ability. This isn't how you make an enemy fun.

The story of both the main campaign and Haus isn't anything special, but at least it gets the job done and it did get a few chuckles outta me at times. The story here is just plain bad, uninteresting and a snooze-fest. It felt like something ChatGPT would crap out after throwing an unfinished, poorly written prompt in it.

You can safely ignore this one if you don't care that much for the content, the main campaign and Haus are more than enough for you to sink your teeth in.

Cheesy nonsensical horror and crazy-ass cult with latex zombies and talking decapitated heads?

HELL YEAH, THAT'S RAD!!

Is this game a groundbreaking cinematic jaw-dropping storytelling masterpiece? F*ck no!

Is this game a cheesy B-Movie set in Los Angeles, with an addicting gameplay loop, goofy dialogue, hot zombie babes, awesome tropical locations and lots, lots, LOTS of gnarly violent gore? F*ck yeah!

Is that a bad thing? F*CK NO!!

Should you play this game? F*CK YEAH!!!

This is what happens when the devs actually listen to the community and take all the time necessary to make changes and put out a good game, you indeed get a good game (shocker, I know, can hardly believe it myself). tl;dr buy this game, it's good!

So far, the game runs great, plays great, feels great, and looks great. The game is great.

Movement and Combat tries to mimick Dying Light 1 and it does a fairly good job at it. The devs somehow peaked at these aspects in Dying Light 1, and they can't seem to be able to replicate them 100% (the movement and combat here is still slightly floaty, but nowhere near as floaty as Dying Light 2), but they're still able to do quite a decent job for this one.

This is one of those games where I wish Steam would give me a "Neutral" option, I neither love it or hate it. It's advertised as a "Remake", but it's more of a "Remaster" with an alternative third person camera mode. A remake would be something like Resident Evil 4, Silent Hill 2 or Mafia: Definitive Edition, y'know, remade and expanded with new and familiar content, perfecting the formula further, making it more accessible with new modernized gameplay, and basically re-creating a better experience from the original release.

This is an extremely faithful 1:1 remaster of the original PS2 game, so you're gonna more or less play the exact same game in the exact same way as in 2004. For the hardcore fans, this is basically a wet dream. For people looking for a more modernized remake of MGS3, maybe something like MGS3 expanded with MGSV's fluid gameplay, this ain't it. This is still the same game from 2004, jank and all included, with a fresh coat of paint, and I wish Konami would've done more with this "remake" than just give us the exact same game again.

Having to downgrade from MGSV's extremely satisfying and fluid gameplay to a clunkier and slower inferior version of it is painful.


So what does this "remake" do right?

- The graphics are great, shocker I know. Every single area has been carefully recreated 1:1 from the original PS2 release and made to look stunning. Character models look amazing and are recreated wonderfully. They killed it in the graphics department.

- If we're giving points for how faithful this is kept to the original, they get all the points. Every single area, every single tree, every single rock that was present in the PS2 release is present here, in higher graphical fidelity. Cutscenes are basically identical to the PS2 version, with some improvements on the animation data to accommodate for the higher quality models. Same goes for the voice acting, apart from a few altered/new voice lines added in during certain codec calls. Boss fights and enemy soldiers behave more or less the exact same way.

- The story is the exact same story, unchanged and all that. And it's a pretty damn good story at that. Same goes for the dialogue.

- My experience has been crash-free and I didn't encounter any bugs apart from occasional flickering lights in certain cutscenes, something that can be easily patched by Konami in a small bug fix.

- The few QOL additions added to the game like the quick-menu for the radio and camo are appreciated.

- They kept all the bonus modes and even expanded the "Guy Savage" minigame, which was a nice touch.

- They kept the secret theater and even made some new scenes for it, which were funny to watch.


Ok fine, but what did this "remake" miss the mark on?

- They kept the exact same map size and loading screen, meaning they had to nerf Snake in terms of how he controls, otherwise the game would be a walk in the park. Problem is, controlling snake now feels slow, sluggish, heavy, delayed and janky. Even the original PS2 release didn't have movement this heavy. People like to call this remake "MGS3 with MGSV's gameplay" but it's simply not that. Aiming and shooting in the new Third Person mode is extremely inaccurate, so you may as well not even bother shooting outside of the FPS view.

- This game is straight up unoptimized, shocker I know. 60fps cap and poor performance (with upscaling no less) on recommended specs should not be acceptable in 2025. Especially for a game as pricey as this one. 60fps is something that should be done for consoles. Most people with PCs powerful enough to run this game will not be using 60hz monitors while playing this game. I had to manually increase and cap the framerate to 72, so the game would feel somewhat fluid on my display, but that does break other things in the game. And forget about uncapping to more than 120fps, the game becomes unplayable.

- Being a faithful remaster, this means most of the jank from the original release is still kept in here. People coming from MGSV will have a hard time sneaking around soldiers, and you can forget about CQC feeling as smooth as it does in MGSV. Bosses still have invincibility frames, and it's now indicated by their HUD health bar greying out a bit. Still, I would've preferred if Konami would've changed this aspect.

- Weirdly enough, for how faithful this is, certain actions are pretty different now compared to the original release. Dragging soldiers is way slower now, so collecting ammo and items from them is more tedious. Snake's movement, that I already mentioned above. Rolling now has a delay before you actually roll. Tranq darts now have a really small range before they start to fall down, I guess as a "balance" but why change this aspect when you're trying to keep this remake as 1:1 faithful as possible?

- For as pricey as this game is, they could've made some new animations rather than reuse most of them from MGSV.


So should I buy this "remake" or not?

For the hardcore fans of the series, well they already bought it anyway. As for everyone else, given how mixed I feel about this "remake", I'd still recommend it, but definitely not at full price. Grab it on a sale. It's still essentially the exact same PS2 game with a fresh coat of paint, heavier movement and poor performance for 80/90 american dollarydoos. I'm disappointed that Konami didn't use all the knowledge learned from how perfect MGSV's gameplay is, and expand this remake using that knowledge to make this release better than the original PS2 game, rather than making it the exact same.

-Major performance issues and bugs.
-Bloated file size.
-Extremely inconsistent and borderline unfair difficulty at times.
-Weak guns outside of the meta ones.
-Tone deaf developers ignoring community complaints for years.

The game's base is good, and has the potential to be even better. The problem are the developers who have no idea what they're doing.

Probably one of the most controversial AAA games of all times. It's definitely a good game, well worth your time, just one with a weak story.


+ Graphics are some of the best I've ever seen. Which is even more impressive considering this was initially made for the Playstation 4!

+ Cutscenes are extremely well acted and directed, with incredible motion and face capture. The voice actors absolutely killed it!

+ Sound design is tip-top! One of my favorite aspects of this game, and some of best I've ever heard in the industry.

+ Gameplay is easy to get into and straight forward, with enough variation put in to make it fun. My kinda gameplay.

+ Action/Combat gameplay has been crafted to feel proper overwhelming and intense, especially with how good the presention in this game is.

+ The "No Return" Roguelike Mode, which feels like TLOU2's Mercenaries Mode, enables you to keep enjoying the intense gameplay with all the slower story elements cut out.

+ Campaign will run you around 24 hours. Playing it continuously for a lotta hours will start to feel repetitive, but it's good in shorter bursts.

+ Some of the flashback scenes are really, REALLY GOOD.

+ Even though the story has problems, the game does nail that bittersweet feeling perfectly.

+ You can pet and play wit da dawg. And boy, did I do a lot of that...

+ Probably some of the best rope mechanics and physics I've seen in any game.


- Story isn't necessarily bad, it's got a strong base, but it's presented in a pretty weak way. The message it tries to say to the player just doesn't work all that well.

- The new characters range from "boring" to "ok", and I didn't really care for most of them. Abby is an exception to this, and I did at least find her interesting.

- Joel is killed off way too early. Him being killed isn't the problem, it's how poorly it's done.

- Niel kills off certain story characters in pretty unceremoniously realistic ways, which is ok if that's the style you want. But then he gives other story characters plot armor, making them avoid death in some really stupid ways, multiple times.

- There's a clear bias with Ellie and Abby. The game is blatantly and constantly telling us "Ellie bad, Abby good", to the point where it gets ridiculous. This could've been done way better.

- The calmer exploration/dialogue parts of the gameplay can get very boring, very quick. I found myself turning on "Auto Pickup" and just mindlessly running against the wall while the game did the looting for me.

- Ellie doesn't pick up the PS Vita, easily -2/10, worst game ever, where is my refund reeeeeee

So, what does the game do right?

- The game's stealth may not be the most complex, but it's simplicity makes it quite enjoyable. Disguises work a little differently here to accommodate for the game's linear structure, and while certain players didn't like this change, it felt natural to me and I didn't have any problems with it. Treat it like an extended timer before you're spotted, and alter your playstyle accordingly.

- The gunplay feels great, I'd argue it's the best in the series. Yes, even better than WOA's gunplay. Firing a weapon sounds punchy, particles look great, effects are nice, and NPCs react nicely to getting shot. If you feel like doing a run here where you just start blasting fools, you'll have a good time. WOA's gunplay always felt a bit floaty to me, with weapons barely having any visual effects and NPCs ragdolling like tree logs.

- I really liked the linear structure of the campaign, a direct opposite to WOA's massive open maps, which are also nice in their own right, but can get tiresome after some playtime. Locations picked for the campaign are well detailed and fun to play, not to mention the linear structure leading to a much tighter experience. IO tried something different here, and they more or less nailed it.

- Part 1 levels of the campaign manage to capture that gritty and dirty feeling of Hitman Contracts which is some of my most favourite aesthetics of any hitman game. Chinatown feels crowded and chaotic, the Hotel feels corrupt and rundown, the Strip Club feels sleazy and dirty, you get the idea. I like this kind of aesthetic way more than WOA's spy cliche aesthetic with modern buildings and rich people.

- Part 2 and 3 levels are also nicely detailed and fun to play. Not as dark as Part 1 levels, but they have it's own charm.

- The writing and dialogue borders that thin line of "it's so bad, it's good". Expect a lot of cheese.

- Despite the linear structure, you got multiple ways of completing a level, so replayability is there.


Alright, alright, but what does the game miss it's mark on?

- Contracts has since been taken offline. After playing WOA's contracts and having a blast, I was looking forward to playing Contracts here too, especially since in Campaign you unlock all these various weapons which you could use in Contracts. These unlocks are otherwise a bit useless.

- The game is unnecessarily and comically VERY horny. The devs were hornier than Hideo Kojima when making this game, which isn't an easy thing to accomplish. Stuff like the Strip Club level is fine, and it's even one of my favourite levels in the game, it fits the game. But BDSM assassin nuns in latex? Corrupt sheriff getting dominated by a dominatrix? Agency assistant dressed like a slut? The girl you're supposed to protect dressed like a japanese school girl? The amount of sexualization they put in this game hurts the game's overall presentation, and they should've toned it WAY down. They more or less realized this when developing WOA, which I guess better late than never.

- The story isn't anything special, and the writing "gets the job done". You might not really care about what's going on in the game. The dialogue is hilarious, but that's about it.


Honestly, it's hard to list negatives of the game, I had a great time playing the game. Go in with a clear mind, and you'll also have a great time. Definitely recommended.

I'm not much of a "Metroidvania" player, I haven't really played any game in this genre apart from this one. But what I do love very much is non stop action, awesome music and Metal Slug. This game plays almost identically like Metal Slug and throws it's own "Metroidvania" spin to it, it has non stop action and awesome music to complement said non stop action. I believe you can put 2 and 2 together...

So far, I've been having a lot of fun playing this game. The controls are tight and responsive, enemy variety is great and they're all fun to fight against, the sprite work is quite good, THE MUSIC ABSOLUTELY F*CKING SLAPS, finding new items, weapons and gear triggers my gamer monkey brain, and generally the entire experience is quite enjoyable.

There is heavy backtracking in this game, and while I'm not the biggest fan of it, it doesn't really impact my enjoyment of the game all that much. After all, it would be stupid to fault a metroidvania game for having backtracking.

I definitely recommend snatching a copy if you enjoy old school sidescroller action and don't mind backtracking, the price is more than fair. If for nothing else, get it for the music which will promptly make you drop the controller and straight up start busting some moves.

Far Cry New Dawn is a shorter and tighter package, but it still manages to keep and even improve that charm from Far Cry 5. The story continues the events of Far Cry 5 and it's fairly enjoyable. Nothing groundbreaking, but for what it is, it's good. The main story side of things is more serious in tone while everything else, particularly the side missions, is a lot more humorous and I got a good chuckle from some of the side missions.

I kind of like the gameplay loop of this game over Far Cry 5's. The gameplay is similar to Far Cry 5, but it's been changed up to include a new Level System for weapons and npcs. Some players disliked this, some liked it, I thought it was pretty good, and it kept me wanting to play the side content to level up my stuff before doing harder missions. Aside from that, attacking outposts and engaging in random freeroam events feels like it has more purpose here, as you get resources needed to level up your perks. In Far Cry 5, outside of liberation points, these events were entirely meaningless.

The open world is a modified version of Far Cry 5's map. A good chunk of it is cut in this expansion, and I didn't have any issues with this. This smaller map left me with less empty space and unnecessary downtime, and I didn't feel the need to quick travel as much to skip long boring drives. The map itself also looks beautiful!

Listen man, in short: This expansion is good, get it if you like Far Cry. If you haven't played Far Cry 5, obviously play that one first before playing this.