Did you ever guess what that elf had been up to?

Hello there! It’s me your favorite magical elf! Last night when you were asleep I was working on my report for Santa and I may have gotten into a little mischief. Whoops! Can you guess what I’ve been up to? My job is very important but sometimes I like to have fun, just like you! Be good and listen to your parents today so I can tell Santa how good you’ve been. Remember I’m not allowed to talk after this call and you can’t touch me or else I’ll lose my magical powers! Oh dear! Have a good day today! Merry Christmas

I know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2.4 mil Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana. Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind. Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash. Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected. Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen.

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Post this on the walls of 10 Girl Gamers you know,
If you get back 4 you're a true Girl Gamer...
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+rep Kafudamapa is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥

You are a punk kid on the internet. Prolly in his late teens. You will soon join a ♥♥♥♥ engineering college and then post one of those "I screwed up my life what do I do?" posts on reddit.
You come online and try to be some cool kid, almost making up for the vacuum of being a loser in real life. You are nothing dude. Literally nothing. There's no winning or losing in this. You already lost at life. Your life is a joke and you have no original dreams or ambitions. You're just a mishmash of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ which has become sentient enough to type letters which are barely cohesive words.
You are piece of ♥♥♥♥, and you know it too. Your parents hate you, your friends will soon leave you and no ones really likes you. The highs in your life from harassing people on the internet with your ♥♥♥ pics? Lol. Classic internet creep. And of course, you don't know how to apologise.
I'm just loving this man. Wanker. Thats all your good at. Put that on your resume.