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9 of 11 (82%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Get your first achievement

Awarded for getting any of the other achievements as your first.
Unlocked 24 Aug @ 4:14pm

Beat the game

Complete The Stanley Parable.
Unlocked 24 Aug @ 4:14pm

Test achievement please ignore

Test achievement description! Replace this!
Unlocked 25 Aug @ 7:39am

Welcome back!

Quit the game and then start it again.
Unlocked 25 Aug @ 1:10am

You can't jump

No seriously, we disabled it.
Unlocked 24 Aug @ 4:18pm

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Unlocked 25 Aug @ 7:39am

Click on door 430 five times

Click on door 430 five times.
Unlocked 25 Aug @ 1:13am

Speed run

Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times).
Unlocked 25 Aug @ 7:49am

Settings World Champion

Set all settings sliders in the menu to all the available numbers.
Unlocked 25 Aug @ 7:50am



Commitment

Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.

Super Go Outside

Don't play The Stanley Parable for ten years.